New Year's Day Superstition

People across the globe trust in certain superstitions related to New Year's Day. Underlying idea behind most of these superstitions is that events occurring on New Year's Day sets the pattern for the rest of the year. According to customs prevalent in their society, people perform auspicious acts to invite Lady Luck and ward off evil.

Given here are some of the most astonishing and popular New Year Superstitions:

KISS AT MIDNIGHT: We kiss those dearest to us at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but also to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next 12 months. To fail to smooch our significant others at the stroke of twelve would be to set the stage for a year of coldness. Okay, this is interesting. So kissing random strangers up in the bar does what? According to this, be un-cold to several people you barely know. Woo hoo…good times! I will of course kiss those nearest and dearest to me provided I don’t have to go looking for him as I did last time.

FIRST FOOTING: One must never leave the home before someone comes in first. First footer in the house should be ushered in with a warm welcome, be tall, dark and handsome and should not have flat feet, cross-eyes or eyebrows stretching out to meet in the middle. It would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts such as a lump of coal, a silver coin, a bit of bread, a sprig of evergreen and some salt. Blonde and redhead first footer bring bad luch and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don’t let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold. After the first footer greets everyone in the house and dropped off his gifts, he should make his way through the house and leave by a different door then he came in. I have a husband and a future son-in-law I will rent you cheap! I need to make sure though that Sara’s tweezed RJ’s uni-brow recently. I don’t really know any blondes, coz the blondes I thought I knew are actually brunettes. As for women, there’s only Sara, and maybe Allyson who would actually come over, but my girls are smart and like their sleep, so they’ll stay to the house.

FOOD: In Southern part of the United States it is said that eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck and money in particular to the one doing the dining. Other lucky foods are lentil soup (coz they look like coins) and pork-because poultry scratches backwards, a cow stands still and pigs root forward. Greens are also considered lucky. Got to get the peas, I already have a ham and collard greens and there will no eating of poultry in my house tomorrow. I forbid it! I wonder what will happen if you eat cake, coz cake is made with eggs…I don’t think I’ll risk it. It has really been an awful year except for one or two little happy moments.

DON’T LET MONEY LEAVE THE HOUSE: In several countries, people do not let money, jewelry, precious items or other invaluable things leave home on New Year Day. Hence it is said that one should not pay loans and bills or lend things to anybody. No chance of that….we should have a really good year~

NOTHING GOES OUT: People go to the extent of not taking out garbage or even not dusting their carpets on this day to ensure that nothing goes out of home during the year. If you have to deliver presents on New Year morning, it is advised to leave them in the car.. In case you must take something out from the home, let someone come with the present inside the house first. Note to self: take trash to the road tonight. Do I have any presents that need to be delivered? Hmmm, I don’t think so, Tim. Just some books for Sebastian, but I can drop those off Saturday.

DO NOT WASH DISHES OR DO LAUNDRY: In several societies washing dishes and doing laundry on New Year's day is said to lead to a death in the family during the year. Many people do not even wash hair on New Year’s Day. Yay, an authorized day off by the pagan heathens of the past. There will be no washing tomorrow…none, I tell you!

WEAR NEW CLOTHES: People believe that one should wear new clothes on a New Year's Day. This would mean receiving more new garments during the year. Red clothing is preferred for New Year’s Day since red is considered a happy color and is sure to attract the wearer to a brighter future. I can wear my new zebra shirt…so much easier to blend in that way LOL—wait it’s not red. Perhaps, I’ll go buy red drawers…yep, that’s what I’ll do. A red, sparkly thong…my sister, cousins, children and son-in-laws just cringed…good times!

AVOID CRYING: It is said that one should avoid breaking things or crying and wailing on the first day of the year, if you don't want to continue the pattern for the entire year. I don’t cry as a rule, so this one should be easy. I wonder if it’s okay to be pissy. Coz I can be pissy if I try…yes, don’t shake your head, I can get quite pissy when I am provoked.

BE POLITE: People say that one should behave nicely on New Year and must refrain from using foul language. Toughie…maybe everyone should leave the house and let me be alone tomorrow and I shouldn’t play Coffee Buzz. It will occasionally elicit the ‘f’ word out of me.

WATCH WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT: Ghost stories and conversations on death should also be avoided. I’m the ghost of Able Gable, leave the money on the table….

LETTING THE OLD YEAR OUT: At midnight, all the doors of the house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded. Let’s look at this for a moment…I live in 4 Seasons. I don’t believe it wise to open my doors at midnight. The neighborhood thugs might rob me and then money would leave the house, and I wouldn’t be polite, and someone might cry and I’ve seen some of those children…they ain’t pretty, so my whole year will be screwed. Maybe I’ll just make the Old Year a pallet in the corner with a lump of coal and a ham bone. He’ll be happy, I know he will.

STOCK UP CUPBOARDS AND WALLETS: It is believed that cupboards stocked up with food and wallets and purses full of money bring prosperity in New Year. Similarly, empty pockets or empty cupboards on New Years Eve portend a year of poverty. Pantry appears to be stocked, fridge is full and I need to go get some cash…I’m covered.

DO TOKEN AMOUNT OF WORK: It is said that one must do token amount of work on the New Year's Day. This is said to ensure advancement in career. But starting out a serious work project is unlucky on New Year’s Day. I'll get right on that

MAKE NOISE: People believe that Evil One and his attendants and servants hate din and loud noise. So, scare them away by being as loud in New Year celebrations as possible. Church bells are rung at midnight for the same reason. I can make some noise, especially if I have to go looking for Fodder at midnight. That ought to scare the Devil out of somebody…

DON’T KEEP DEBTS: Pay your bills and loans before New Year Eve, so you don't have any debt left for New Year. Sadly, the debts shall remain and be our true blue friends for at least another year. Unless I win the lottery tonight and then I may be able to do it.

THE DIRECTION OF THE WIND: The direction of wind during sunrise on New Year morning prophesies about the coming year. Wind from south foretells fine weather and prosperous times ahead while wind from north foretells bad weather. Wind blowing from east foretells natural calamities and wind from west foretells plenty of milk and fish for all but death of a person of great national importance. No wind means joy and prosperity throughout the year. Whatever, I’m not getting up at sunrise after welcoming in the New Year. I’ll just wait and hear it on the news.

DANCE IN THE OPEN AIR: To dance in the open air, especially round a tree, on New Year's Day ensures luck in love and prosperity and freedom from ill health during the coming twelve months. The neighbors ought to love that. Drive by my house tomorrow, I will be putting on my boogie shoes and getting down with my bad self right next to the snowmen. Get down, get down, get down…

DRAIN THE BOTTLE: You could ensure yourself good fortune by draining the last dregs from a bottle of drink on New Years! I will buy my bottle of Smirnoff, chug all but a swallow and then drink my backwash right after midnight. Yum-mee!

Topic of the Day-Gossip

It’s that time again…woo hoo! Time for my interpretation of quotes, both the inconsequential and the truly deep.

The topic of the day is gossip…always MY personal favorite of all things. I have a huge yen for privacy. My business is my quite simply my business. Let me give you a little background. In the house I grew up in, privacy was a HUGE issue. You didn’t discuss family business with anyone—that meant grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, best friends…no one. What you heard in our house, even if it was about grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, or best friends, you didn’t discuss it once you stepped outside the front door. In short, you kept shit to yourself. However, I married into a very OPEN family, which has on occasion been a challenge. The only one of my children who is as militantly private as I am is Sara. There’s nothing wrong with being open and sharing and what not, it’s just not me. Therefore, when I find out that Clarke-Douglas business is being bandied about town and learning that occasionally my doings are the topic of the day, it miffs me. Now I know some of you out there are saying “Bitch, you air your dirty laundry in your blogs all the time”. BUT that’s not really dirty laundry. That’s more like a towel you used once to dry your hands laundry, not underwear worn 3 days in a row laundry. And I NEVER use names, just obscure references…it’s kind of like Law & Order, the names have been changed to protect the guilty and any similarities to persons living or dead are purely intentional. So there…

Anyway, getting back to my quotes—they’re mostly about gossip, but gossip is just the voice of violated privacy, right?

1) What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb Basically, this means if you weren’t in the room giving directions and helpful critiques of the performance, you don’t know for a fact that Dick and Jane were doing the Posturpoedic Polka, even if one of them told you they were. Like Jane would actually do Dick…please, as if!

2) What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away. ~Chinese Proverb I don’t know about that, but I do know that it can be heard across town…or down the street…or in the neighbor’s yard

3) No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. ~Bertrand Arthur William Russell, On Education, 1926 Now, I don’t know about that…a virtue is by definition any praiseworthy quality or trait, so if you’re whispering that someone is a devoted secret drinker, or a dedicated home-wrecking whore, or even a thoroughly sincere hypocritical twat, you are indeed talking about SECRET virtues.

4) If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. ~Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam That means when you’re screaming on the Nextel in the grocery aisle at Walmart or yelling at your man in the middle of a polite get together with friends and 400 strangers, don’t be surprised if it comes back to haunt you a skoosh.

5) When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars. ~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911 How are you, Sharon? How’s your sister? Still crazy? How’s your Mom? Is her health any better? How’s Katelyn? How are the grandbabies? How are Sara and RJ? Any news about what happened? My standard answers are “fine, fine, no, fine, yep, fine, beautiful, fine, no”—my actual, yet never uttered responses are as follows “like you care, you don’t know her so its not really relevant to you is it, like you’re one to talk, call her and ask her yourself, no she treats her body like a honky tonk but she’s grown, not pregnant, gorgeous beautiful brilliant heathens who I adore to the depth of my soul, I never see them so I’m presuming they’re good, none of your God-damned business you nosy bitch”. This is of course only said in my head in answer to people who don’t know or love me and mine and could give a shit how we are. They just want to hear bad news and woe and crap. Sorry, seek that shit down the road.

6) The easiest way to keep a secret is without help. ~Author Unknown But when you have help keeping your secrets? Good Lord, save me from myself! They’ll either use those secrets to their own advantage or, well...that’s the only reason I can think of. Blackmail, personal gain, shock value or just good ol’ plain entertainment.

7) Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~Spanish Proverb Gossip is like adultery…if she’ll do it with you, she’ll do it to you. It bites the ass, but there you have it. And you know what? Then that person will turn around and tell everyone how it was all you, she never intended to do that, you led her into it, it was an accident, it just happened…hmmm, yep, I’m still talking about gossip, had to check. LOL, funny, I never thought of how closely they corresponded to each other.

8) Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around. ~Frank A. Clark Shall we begin? Or should we just take it on faith that you don’t really want to see my warts on the off chance I’ll start pointing out yours?

9) It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people's business. ~Dolley Madison I really truly don’t want to know of other peoples misfortunes or smut or mistakes. I don’t want to hear about folks having money troubles, when someone’s girlfriend switches teams, or playing wake and bake in the morning before driving to work. I really truly only want to see people in the light I want to be seen in. I like knowing about babies, or making the honor roll, or a funny story about a slip of the tongue as long as no one was horribly embarrassed to the point of social phobia. That’s what I want to hear…okay, I admit I like to hear about certain people falling and busting their asses in public, but that’s just a newsflash, not gossip. There’s a difference.

10)To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends. ~Benjamin Franklin And believe me, no matter how tight you and your bff are, give her half a chance and she will tell your business and talk about you like you never shared a late night bull session discussing whether or not size matters and who has the better flip-flops.

11) It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper. ~Errol Flynn Out loud- “She’s a nice person and has such a great smile” then whispered right after “too bad she’s such a slut and the sound of her voice makes my skin want to peel off”. Alrighty then…And why do they whisper? They obviously want to share. Its easier to share with more people if you’re really loud, which is what I aspire to be. Ah, dreams.

12) There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us. ~F.H. Bradley, Aphorisms Bored, bored, bored…but that’s just me. Obviously, I am one fascinating human being and provide hours of quality entertainment for the micro-brained

13) Who brings a tale takes two away. ~Irish Proverb This is so true…I am always very careful when I’m listening to someone run someone else into the ground to make sure I don’t contribute to the pot of goo they are spewing. Nothing makes me more angry than to hear a perfectly innocent remark that I made like “I didn’t know he got new shoes” preceded by the dreaded words “well, Sharon said”. I say I didn’t know he got new shoes and it turns into “well, Sharon said that he didn’t tell her he was going shopping and then he came back with new shoes, which they couldn’t afford, she can’t remember the last time she got anything new, but he didn’t ask her about it and who is she that he has to answer to her and she’s really become a ball-breaking bitch and poor…what? I don’t know where they were when he told her, probably the bar, well, Sharon said he’d been hanging out without her a lot here lately, she probably thinks he’s running around, but who knows…”

14) Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: Their measurements are being taken and compared. ~Erica Jong That’s right, men, we are comparing and contrasting and exaggerating to beat the band so it’s in your best interest to stay on our good side so that we’ll lie on the positive side, turning you into an insatiable breath-taking circus freak who brings us breakfast in bed.

15) The best way to keep one's word is not to give it. ~Napoleon I, Maxims This one is very simple, but so you know how many lives have been shoved down the craphole by the words “you can tell me, I promise I won’t tell anyone else, ever? One or 3, I’m sure.

16) The biggest liar in the world is They Say. ~Douglas Malloch I believe this person lives in Okeechobee and may be related to me. I just want to know who they are, coz I would like to have a conversation and maybe kick they ass.

17) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. ~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, July 1735 My favorite of all quotes because it is so true unless you have 3 or more people living in your head and then one of those crazy bitches will slip and tell the world all your crap, usually in a blackout blog that she doesn’t remember writing, or in a cozy tete-a-tete in a restaurant hallway or by the ever so casual, on-purpose slip of the tongue. I can’t take #3 anywhere, big-mouthed huzz that she is!

18) There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true. ~Winston Churchill Every person reading this has a truth dipped in lies and covered up with sparkles to keep others from knowing the total truth about something. Right now, I can think of 3 things I wouldn’t want anyone other than me to know. What about you? It’s not that they’re illegal, immoral, or just bad…doesn’t really matter. To me they’re just something I don’t want anyone to know. Maybe someone shoplifted tampons. Maybe a guy looked at another man’s ass and said “dammit, man”. Or maybe you just want to kick the blind kid in line in front of you just because he always gets to be first. Not the coolest things to admit, but they’re real and true and worse than some of the baddest lies you can tell.

I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. ~Benjamin Franklin

This is what I aspire to

Completely Random Thoughts

Thoughts brought on by the futility of it all…
1) When is too much?
2) How do you just stop being a parent? Especially when babies are involved?
3) Am I not seeing things clearly? All these people that claim to be family are only really family at Christmas and funerals…I think I am going to have to call bullshit on that and realize that my family consists of those I was born to, lived with and gave birth to. I will exclude Janine from that as she is the bomb.
4) My new contacts prescription sucks. I need reading glasses for everything now.
5) I relax when I hold babies, come to work or hug people I love. Otherwise, my shoulders are up under my damn ears, I’m so tense. And does anyone care? No, no, no…as long as I do my chores and mind my p’s & q’s. Feels like I’m a child living at home again. Ah, the irony.
6) I give the eff up
7) So my life isn’t interesting? Try living it.
8) My New Year’s Resolution- the most important one is to exercise daily. Gym, here I come, masses be warned.
9) 30 days til I see my sister again. Hopefully, I will be able to do more than bully her into drinking water and walk down the hallway.
10) Next Christmas…I’m spending on the couch, cuddled up and watching movies and that’s it. No Christmas Eve party, no Christmas day get together, I mean it. When you no longer think of Christmas as a happy time, but rather a day to dread that has lost all the spirit and true meaning of the Season, I say move on. Bah, effing humbug!
11) This cough is exhausting and so painful. Perhaps it pneumonia…
12) Gabriella Eryn Shea Villarreal, that’s a mouthful no matter who you are. Gabby is great for a quick holler.
13) I don’t know if Lili will like Gabby or not. I’m thinking not.
14) I need a tattoo with my children and grandchildren’s names on it
15) I’m tired and I want to nut up, but I don’t have the time or money to do it and who would care anyway?

Top Ten #1

Do I only blog when I’m unhappy? Do I only have interesting things to say when my little apple cart has been upset, or when I’m embroiled in a middle school psycho drama that is not of my own or on the odd occasion when my good intentions have been misunderstood as disrespectful and predatory? Hmmmm…
Therefore, once a week, I am going to do a "Top 10 Reasons My Life Doesn’t Suck" list. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
1. My family is mostly healthy and they are all beautiful except for that third cousin twice removed living in the Louisiana swamp on a pontoon boat slash modified half-wide with his baby mama and her mouth-breathing boyfriend. He’s not too cute, but he does the best he can with a lazy eye and his striking resemblance to a weiner dog.
2. No one close to me, including me, has been arrested this week.
3. I didn’t die in a fiery plane crash when I went to visit my sister.
4. I lost 7 pounds when I visited my sister. Visiting her is the best diet in the world. Even when she’s healthy, she won’t feed me. They eat a lot of noodles and cereal at her house and I just can’t do it. It’s sad how hungry I get at the home of someone who loves me so much, but hey, my jeans fit better when I get home.
5. My bills are mostly paid.
6. Belle (the granddog) is soooo thrilled with my being home, it’s hysterical. Every time I walk in the room, she dances around on her hind legs and barks.
7. Roddy and I both have jobs and don’t currently hate them.
8. I know I am loved…it may not be said often or directly, but I know it for a fact and that’s all that matters.
9. I didn’t freeze off any necessary body parts while I was in Kansas.
10. I am the proud possessor of at least 150 snowman themed Christmas items…that rocks….right? Or is that as lame and sad as I think it is?
Looking back over this list is semi-depressing. I am lucky and blessed and I know it!
1) Got to see my friend Mindy after 28 years…wow! She is amazing and funny and gorgeous (you know you are, quit shaking your head). Too cool!!!!
2) Baby to be born soon, little Miss Rylee, didn’t have to be induced after all, but gets to stay in her warm comfy waterbed for at least another week.
3) Sara George got a 92 on her Marine Biology final…she rocks like Van Halen.
4) Grady can say "I love you, Nanny"—that’s super dee duper dee.