Blogging for blogging sake

1. I am told I am a bad patient...that's true, I don't like to wait for weeks to see results, I want to be better NOW.

2. I am a blind masochist, but it's one of my more endearing qualities

3. When I think of all the time I wasted working so hard to accomplish something just to lose it to someone else, I get nauseous.

4. Teflon people.... I want to be one

5. I think what bothers me the most is that I have no zeal for anything here lately except sleep.

6. All this rain is starting to bum me out. I really enjoy my quality 'me time' when I walk, but the lightning and thunder are deterring me just a hair. I would walk in the rain...what's a little water?...but being electrocuted would just be the icing on the cake for this horrible year. Wait, it's only May!!! Lord have mercy...

7. When Mom reads my palm, she tells me that I was going to have this major thing happen...well, it happened. And even though I feel dead-ish, I know I'm not, so I have to deal. I've grown to hate dealing and coping. They suck. Shouldn't it be somebody else's turn to sweep the flotsam and jetsam out of their lives for a change?

8. Not loving my job here lately. I think it's that whole zeal thing again. People that I normally hit the ignore button on are really starting to push MY buttons. Tolerance, thy name is no longer Sharon.

9. Let's see...I'll try to be upbeat...hmmm...my garden's getting plenty of water. My ass is going to grow huge again, but the garden is being watered.

10. I was told my new haircut was sexy...hey, now...that's upbeat. Of course the person telling me was a degenerate, but hey, a compliment is a compliment.

11. Night at the Museum-The Smithsonian was not that great. Wait for the DVD. However...X-Men: Origins and Star Trek rocked like nobody's business. Hugh Jackman is soooooooo hot and he was naked...nuff said.

12. Food tastes like seasoned cardboard and paste now. Huge step forward.

13. Barry Manilow is very soothing.

14. Stupid rain...

15. I need to get my little dog a friend...a live friend...her relationship with the stuffed monkey is disturbing. Not only does she hump him, she brings him balls and pretends he throws them AND then she pulls him over herself and pretends he's pinned her. She's too weird and its creepy. Puppy love in more ways than one.

Early morning musings

1. Great googies, its early.
2. No tears for 3 days...I think I've finally hit the bottom of the well...or regained my senses...or something. Of course, it does help to not see an arm hanging out the window of a truck.
3. Last night to the Mexican buffet...not exactly on my eating program, but at least I'm not being so militant about it that I was rude, especially since somebody else paid for it. Once in a blue moon won't kill me and I'll throw in an extra mile today to make up for it.
4. I'm taking Sara prom dress shopping today and tomorrow if we don't find one...it's our last one; this whole empty nest thing is looming like a great white whale.
5. Even after having Gabby over the night before last and staying up late last night chatting, I still didn't sleep very well. I need to figure out something else to quiet my brain so that I can sleep throughout the night.
6. If age is just a number, why is it one of the first things people bring up when they're getting to know each other?
7. I need a pedicure in the worst way. Jogging/walking is harsh on one's tootsies. I'm thinking flaming hot, streetwalking red polish...Dad's cringing, ya'll know that.
8. I should get up and go grab some breakfast, but I just can't bear the thought of ham AGAIN. It seemed like a good idea at the time because it was so easy to snatch and run...but now it's getting a little old. I think it will be roast beef this week. Yummy!
9.Love that new Darius Rucker song "Don't Think I Don't Think About It", the line that says "sometimes we make choices and we have to live with them"...I think certain people are regretting their choices now or perhaps just thinking that perhaps they may have been a bit presumptive in their decisions. This causes me to slightly, as to not upset Karma, to laugh a little gleefully.
10. I wish I had some vacation time...I need a little R & R would set me up just fine. Perhaps to North Carolina to see the leaves change and all the new babies, you know, cubs and birds and what not, doing their thing. Maybe a weekend trip after Sara graduates, go to the shore and have a little one-on-one. Sigh...good stuff.
11. Okay, maybe toast and peanut butter and milk.
12. My garden at work is getting big, but I would rather be harvesting something other than weeds.
13. I guess the search for the prom dress starts now...cross your fingers!

Random Thoughts the Day before my B'day

1. Andes mints and Parrot Bay Wave Runners are not a taste sensation to be savored.2. I only need 1 1/2 Wave Runners to be over-tipsy so excuse my spelling, my sentence structure, the foul language and anytime I tell someone to specifically to kiss my ass until their lips chap and then they can suck my nose 'til my head caves in.3. Fodder is singing "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins, but I think he really do.4. Wave Runners are dee-licious5. My husband sometimes smells dee-licious...it's 'Tim McGraw' for those of you who want to know6. The family is having a cook-out for me tomorrow. I love grilled hamburgers. I have steaks ready to grill and taters to bake, but I don't see it happening tonite. Poor hungry family7. Happiness is complicated.8. I blew up Sara's car coz I think I'm smarter than anybody else, but maybe it's no worse off than it was...lets hope!9. I need to buy towels.10. Quotes my sister gave me (she loves me, by the way, so I must not be such a void of humanity)1. "You are too valuable to waste away in the dark." 2. "You are truly worthy of great things and of love and respect."3. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."4. "Happiness is a by-product of how you choose to live your life. This requires action on your part to achieve happiness and maintain it."5. "There is a value in all experiences, it just may take a closer look or a little extra time to see things for what they really are. Realize that since you don't know when you might lose control of everything, you have to live your life in a way that leaves no unfinished business should it happen. Make the most of the time you have as an active participant in life. Part of getting your mind around the cycle of life (and what you don't control) is making sure that you maximize what you do control - and that is the time you have now. Don't waste it focusing on situations you can't change.
11. Waiting is way over-rated...at least according to Taco Bell
12. I'm listening to "What About Me" by Kenny Rogers, Kim Carnes and James Ingram...you should too, then stop and think...what does she mean by that?
13. I think everyone who reads my blogs either as a real friend or a fricking nosy lurker should ask themselves "what does she mean by that?" My friends will know, my family will sigh and my non-friends can so kiss my ass coz it's generally about their skank asses.
14. Wave Runner #3....this ain't gonna be a good nite, so I'm going to hide my phone from myself...drunk dialing can't be good for nobody. Funny? Yes... Troublesome? No doubt.... Smart? By no stretch of the imagination! Yay, I love being me and NOT you.
15. Now I'm listening to "Life Turned Her That Way" by Ricky Van Shelton...I'm wondering if I listened to more upbeat music if I would indeed be a more upbeat person? Who the hell cares? If you don't like me, just hang out with like minded folks and trash talk me...like you need a fricking invitation, right?
16. Could I possibly be a belligerant imbiber?
17. Am I intoxicated if I still have excellent grammer and a sterling grasp of syntax?
18. I'm going to shower but not shave. You can't get lucky if you shave.
19. Now it's "The Twelfth of Never" by Donny Osmond. I am a sad, sad, little (not really) woman.
20. Stress induced dermatitis can't be seen in the dark, wink wink
21. Don't you hate it when people tell you to do impossible things like they're really easy?
22. I want to be a Teflon person.
23. Sister, if I'm such a good person, why do I always feel like a pile of shit?
24. "Anybody but Sharon"...what the fuck does that mean? At least you know where I've been AND I've had all my shots.
25. I should never have 2nd guessed Fodder on mechanical things. I misunderstand so much when it comes to technical things. I hate being a dumb girl. However, I've been told it's just because I haven't been given the opportunity or taught. So maybe I'll improve in time.
26. I guess that's all. I love most of you, like the rest, and despise the haters with every fiber of my being.
27. Birthday tomorrow. Can't wait to see my girls.

Completely Random Thoughts - Part 15

1) I am overtired today

2) That Toby Keith song keeps playing over and over in my head “How do you like me now?”. I guess in the grand scheme of things, I’m not the worst thing that could have happened.

3) Wendy’s chili = Cabbage

4) Sometimes peoples attempt at humor irks me. Not everyone is funny—deal with it and move the hell on.

5) Got to pack

6) It is going to be sooooo cold up there. It wouldn’t be so bad, but my brother-in-law, the miser, keeps the thermostat on like 62. I don’t know about you, but that’s cold

7) I’m being haunted by the ghost of my gallbladder. I’m not sure if it was the orange juice I drank yesterday, or the sloppy joes or the chili or the pretzels or the sodas. I’m thinking the mix might be responsible for the icky.

8) Saw a movie Sunday—Vantage Point—it was awesome. I give it 2 thumbs up!

9) I need to remember to give Dee Dee back her cough syrup before she hocks up a lung.

10) Every day I am amazed at the pettiness of people. Or is it petulance? Either way, little temper tantrums and sullenness and the cold shoulder are just a coward’s way of dealing with your issues. Don’t get me wrong, I will pout myself…don’t want to come across as a hypocrite. But I don’t generally do the boo-boo lip over the slights other people have done to me, but rather of the fact that I allowed myself to be mad at, disappointed in or outmaneuvered by yet another person. Then I’ll pout at my dumbness.

12) Speaking of dumb, I just got done watching the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States of America. Back story: I try very hard not to discuss politics, religion or childrearing with strangers, friends, co-workers or loved ones. It only leads to trouble and hard feelings. That being said, I follow politics somewhat because it is my duty and my right as an American citizen to be informed. I’m excited to part of the democratic process, proud to be an American. I think George Bush has made a mockery of his office and shed no tears at his leaving office. I have high hopes for Barak Obama as do most Americans who like to work and eat and have a roof over their heads. He has a long rough row to hoe, but at least he knows what its like to owe money, put himself through college and struggle. Therefore, he can sympathize. He spoke of America being in a cold bitter winter right now, but we can move forward. He’s a heck of speaker. All that being said, when the inbred, mouth-breathing idiots who have lived off the teat of this country, bearing too many unplanned children that my taxes go to feed and clothe and educate while I am struggling to get my own kid through school , fed and decently attired, HAVE the BALLS to ask stupid questions like “is the n-word there yet?” or “has anyone shot that n-word yet?” while I am trying to watch and hear a momentous moment in history, it makes my fricking blood boil. Your opinion you have a right to express, but your ignorance? Take that shit down the road. It doesn’t matter whether you like the man or his politics, and no, he’s not very experienced in the political arena nor does he have any foreign policy background. But he is smart enough to have surrounded himself with people who do. Don’t belittle his accomplishment based on something like color. We’ve had enough of the democracy cum autocracy that we’ve been dealing with for the last 8 years. We’ve had enough of a president who failed to listen to his advisers and based all of his decisions on what his father started in his own disappointing term of office. Example, what did Dick Cheney do besides shoot somebody in the face and pull a muscle before the inauguration today? Hell if I know. If he was heavily involved in politics, wouldn’t I have heard something?

13) That random thought just kept on coming, didn’t it?

14) I can’t play computer games when I get home tonight. The swelling is just now coming down in my arm and it’s after noon. Typing doesn’t bother it that bad, but running that mouse is a bitch.

15) Just a quick side trip back to politics. Two of the people I love most in this world could care less about the political climate. Naughty, it’s your country…take an interest!

16) Seeing how little content I have to draw since I’ve been blissfully, marvelously and completely happy, I now understand why so many of our greatest writers (which I am not attesting to be) did their best work strained, drained, stressed and messed. Look at Edgar Allen Poe and Ernest Hemingway…brilliant men, totally f*cked up.

17) A quote I wanted to comment on: Before you begin on the journey of revenge, dig two graves. ~Proverb I’m going to wax philosophical on this one. I believe that by the time a person is driven to seek revenge, something has already died in them. Could be hope, could be love or desire, drive, ambition, or inspiration, could be anything that a person treasures and puts value in. The only reason a person would need revenge is to fill the void left by the death of a dream. Are they seeking to replace their loss by taking something away from the person who arranged it? Maybe. Does it work? Partially. Is it worth it? …depends.

18) I used to list all the things in my happy place, but I think my mental home is following along the lines of my regular home. I don’t want much in it, except for the things I just can’t be without. Right now, I can’t think of anything.

19) Didn’t sleep good last night, my mind was too busy planning. Sometimes I wish I weren’t such a planner, but rather did things on a whim. But then I wouldn’t be Sharon and what a loss that would be, huh?

20) I need WD-40 for my desk keyboard shelf.

21) Kansas is going to be so cold

22) I need more iron, I am covered in bruises.

23) Overthinking will eventually be my downfall.

24) I think romance is in the heart of a believer; if someone brings you roses when you prefer daisies, it’s not romantic

From perky to pissy in one breath…I am talented.

Love ya’ll!

Thinking of Mom

Just memories of my mom that shot up when I was scrapbook surfing…YES! I know! My life is dull and I need to exchange it…later, baby.
1. Song - High Hopes: Just what makes that little ol’ ant, think he can move a rubber tree plant…I sang it to my girls and I caught myself singing it to Grady the other day…
2. You playing head thinker, eye winker, nose smeller, mouth eater, chin chopper, gobble gobble gobble…again, I played this with my 3 original monsters, now I’m using it to teach Lili how to embarrass her Nanny with it. See, we were playing it the other day while we were outside chalking up the sidewalk. Naturally, we had chalk all over our hands and what with the pointing out of the different spots…. Well, to make a long story short, when the neighbor lady came over to chat over the fence, I had forgot about the chalk. She kept looking at me funny, but I figured it was because she rarely encounters such a striking figure of female femininity as myself. Sadly, that wasn’t it. When I went inside a little while later, I looked in the mirror and lo and behold! I was a living chalk painting, kinetic baby art if you will. Lil-1, Nanny-0
3. The white platform sandals with the strawberry on the toes. I wanted to wear those things so bad. If I had known they would be popular again, I would have put them somewhere to be worn now.
4. Exercising in the living room- The Richard Simmons method if I remember correctly with a side of Solid Gold dancing. Thank God there were no videos in phones back in the day.
5. The best diet tip ever? Air-popped popcorn before every meal. I don’t know how glamorous or trendy or whatever that was, but it worked, if I remember.
6. Hey, Mom…guess what? I wore foundation in my 9th grade class picture…nyah nyah :-D. Of course, looking at it now, why I chose that particular shade of orange is beyond me. Of course, I don’t wear it nowadays, nor have I ever worn it regularly. Maybe that’s why I have such good skin still. Lucky me, smart you.
7. Singing in the car on all road trips…good times.
8. How many times did we hear Mr. Roboto on the way to Louisiana? 1032? Lord, how I hate that song!
9. If my mommy wants duck soup….J
10. Your promise to my 3rd grade teacher that you would stomp her God-damned ears in the ground if she ever embarrassed me again or made me cry. Now that’s a memory to hold dear…I have channeled that particular angry mama bear whenever I have needed to chastise an unmotivated educator with poor judgement into rethinking their attitude toward my little darlings. That’s why my girls could shut down any crap at school with the words “don’t make me call my mom”. I’m so proud…(tearing up)

Completely Random Thoughts-Part 14

1) Only 55 more days until daylight savings time…woo hoo! Can’t wait to start walking again. Disclaimer: I have a sad little life, so bear with me.
2) Lili is extremely jealous of the new baby being in Nanny’s lap. I think her exact words were “Nanny, stop” punctuated with the Damien stare and the little pudgy finger pointed accusingly at Baby Gabby. Sigh…I foresee a row of rough hoeing ahead.
3) Icy Hot should always be washed off your hands thoroughly after applying, ESPECIALLY before you scratch inside your ear…make a note.
4) Don’t you just love to get phone calls where the person on the other end doesn’t talk, just listens to you saying hello over and over?
5) I scrapbooked this weekend, yay me! Got a two-pager done of Sara’s Jr. Prom…don’t love it, will probably take it apart a little bit and one of just her and RJ being goofs. Don’t love that one either, but I will think on it a little bit longer before the OCD steps in and takes over.
6) Not everyone appreciates a dry sense of humor…or else they don’t get it, which makes it sad and just a tiny bit funnier to me. J
7) I hate counting pennies, but its nice to know that high dollar college education is paying off, huh?
8) I don’t think double oat bran bread is in my best interest, gastro intestinally speaking that is. Let’s just say ‘cabbage’.
9) I wonder how many times I’ve listened to “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It” since it came out?
10) When people blow their noses right outside my window while I’m eating lunch, it makes me want to throw up a little.
11) Steak burrito with salsa verde…you know my ulcer is gonna love me today. On the bright side, I’m breathing a lot more clearly LOL
12) Anyone besides me ever notice that the intro for O-town’s “All or Nothing” and the Backstreet Boys “Drowning” is exactly the same?
13) Yes, I like boy bands, sue me.
14) Is it too late to rethink the whole burrito thing? Ow, damned ghost gallbladder!
15) I read over some of my very first blogs this weekend—you know the ones I wrote when I was full of hate and loathing and venom and well, you get the idea. Boy, was I angry! Glad to know I’ve finally gotten over all that and moved on but now I understand why those who love me were so worried about public safety. Equally glad that I found a hobby that redirected all my time and energy AND that I have multiple babies to love. Yay, me.
16) Dee Dee is a red head today…it’s cute. I’m going to wait and dye my hair when I go to my sister’s. She has water pressure and regular water at her house.
17) I just want to hear “yes, you may”, that’s all.
18) Oh, Heaven’s to Murgatroyd, my stomach is already killing me.
19) Quote “It is what it is until it isn’t anymore”…is that deep or what?
20) Too many people today—I just want to take a long ride down a dirt road, some alone quality me time.
21) Men are easily placated by food and drink—just like babies.
22) The smell of Carmex takes me straight back to high school and cold Friday night football games.
23) How many times am I going to get….ummm, I forgot what I was going to say. I went to the restroom and this thought just went poof!
24) I am so glad everyone is getting along.
25) I am fricking hating life at this exact moment…I think I’m having a Sybil episode.
26) I still have snowmen cavorting around my living room. I really need to pack them all away, but they seem to have bred (hence the snowman orgy) and no longer fit in their boxes.
27) Another battle lost, how will I survive?

That’s all for today…so furiously mad over the overwhelming stupidity of smart people that I can barely tolerate existing on the same plane. That being said, love to all the brilliant smart people in my life who don’t make me want to run screaming into the streets, shouting, “the morons are coming, the morons are coming!”
Stupid damn people, they could screw up a wet dream.

Completely Random Thoughts - Part 13

1) Still got the portly Pilgrim people on my desk…hmmm, I think its just laziness now instead of not being ready to let the holidays go.

2)My arm is so achy! Damn cold front reminds me that I’ve turned into a human barometer. It gets cold--my arm aches and my jaw gets puffy, a warm front moves in--the ear bug dances, the pressure drops—my knee swells. Basically, I’m old and almost worn out.

3) Dee Dee’s a mean ass, at least that what she claims…I hate to tell her, but in the mean ass arena, she ain’t nothing but an amateur.

4) I’m making a “To Do” list, its about boring…I’m trying to stick to the ‘need to do’ and not the ‘want to do’. I know what I want to do, but that probably won’t happen this weekend.

5) I think I’ll go get Lili so that we can make brownies. Ought to be fun and oh so messy! She likes to participate when I’m in the kitchen. I need to find her a little tiny fat baby apron.

6) I love it when a plan comes together :-)

7) Men shouldn’t stand with their hands on their waists. It looks gay—make a note.

8) I want a wicker clothes basket

9) I wonder if Sara, Roddy and RJ are as tired of chicken as I am?

10) New scrapbook magazine on my desk, trying to get into the groove again, but I just can’t. I flip through the pages and go ‘eh’. Maybe I should go through my stuff and get rid of ½ of it and then I won’t feel so overwhelmed and might get something accomplished.

11)Too much stuff is definitely a problem for me

12) I need to wash my jacket, my cuffs are dirty and the Happy Bunny looks a little grimy

13) I’ve worn my hair up 3 days in a row…I’m in a rut

14) Pork chops for dinner, but I don’t feel like frying them. Maybe pork chop and rice casserole.

15) I think I OD’d on Icy Hot, oooooo is my arm tingling!

16) Ever notice how doing the right thing only makes things right for other people? I personally would rather be selfish and greedy and egocentric…alas, that’s not my DNA. Perhaps I could learn though, I am a very good student.

17) Tick-tock, tick-tock, damn that ever ticking clock.

18) “Too much, too little, too late to ever try again, too much too little too late to try again with you…”. I hate it when 70’s songs get stuck in my head, especially BAD 70's songs

19) I saw this quote “I love you up to the sky and back” and got to thinking about how my family says “I love you”. Ours is “I love you too much”, or “I love you…I love you more, no don’t, es do” (that’s a back and forth thing), or “I love you the whole world…and a snap (finger snap here)”, “al lo youuuu” and “lovee”. We used to say “wubbee” but that’s since be tainted, so we don’t use it anymore.

20) It’s soooo comforting to always know where my husband is…on the computer or somewhere else.

21) I am a HUGE marshmallow, but it works for me, so there you go…

22) I need a new running away from home destination. I have a feeling Maine is colder than KS and I still haven’t recovered from that 5 days. Brrr…somewhere tropical, with bright colors, sunshine and yummy tropical drinks with umbrellas. Does that sound as good to you as it does me, sugar?

23) That whole closing the barn door after the horse has run off and stayed gone? This is me laughing my ass off…really, its half gone, I just checked.

24) I love Chinese food. I would give Roddy’s left testicle for some chicken chow mein or maybe some spicy chicken and broccoli…still can’t get away from the chicken. I think I want Chinese for my birthday, that and about 10 Washington Apples, 3 Smirnoff Ices, and a balloon—the kind that doesn’t pop, coz I have a ‘thing’ about balloons. That’s right, I’m 42-ish and I have a phobia about clowns and balloons.

25) I’ve written about 5 things in this line that I’ve had to erase for the pure provocation factor they held, but don’t worry, friends o’ mine, I’ll send them to you in a message so that you can be as tickled as I am by my cutting wit.

27) Anyone who reads this and thinks that I am as full of myself as I sarcastically infer that I am is just a stupid silly bitch who needs to read and get out more…I’m just saying…

28) And anyone reading my blogs who thinks that poorly of me in the first place should maybe not be reading them, but stay over on the twat side of the dodgeball line.

29) Wow, this upbeat happy list is taking its usual bitter turn and that was not my intention. It’s supposed to be all about butterflies and broncos.

30) My desk is all sticky. I wonder if folks are having sex on it…yuck.

31) Who would want to be Bunny Police and bust deer for doing the dirty on the dike? Just a tongue twister…say it fast 5 times real fast.

32) I can’t wait to wash this Icy Hot off…it reeks!

33) I will scrapbook, I will, I will, I will…

34) Yay, it’s almost time to go home and…well, at least I won’t be at work. Yay, me!

Lovee, big hugs and a small pinch to everybody…and a little kiss on the side ;-)