Things men never say and really should

1. "I'll take care of it..."

2. "Your hair looks nice..." it should NEVER be preceded by the words "What did you do?" or said in a smart-assed way to point out that you weren't listening.

3. "Here, let me do that"...doesn't count if it in relationship to running the remote control, drive, roll a doob, you know...manly stuff

4. "You look tired, let me ___________" (fill in the blank)

5. "Your butt looks really good in those jeans"

6. "I'm going to give you a break and let you relax: (laughing hysterically only hurts their feelings so try and resist... you and I know its going to take Go-Jo and SOS pads to clean up afterward, but hey, he did try)

7. "I saw this and thought of you..." (this should never involve cleaning equipment, porn or anything to do with pickled sausage)

8. "I heard a song on the radio and it made me miss/think/dream of you" (if this is followed by the song "Crazy Bitch" played at maximum volume, punch him in the nards and then stomp off)

9. "You look nice today" WARNING: if this is immediately followed by a request for noggin, it's null and void.

10. "I'm such a lucky man" - doesn't count if he's referring to the lottery, fishing or scoring side tang.