1. I am told I am a bad patient...that's true, I don't like to wait for weeks to see results, I want to be better NOW.
2. I am a blind masochist, but it's one of my more endearing qualities
3. When I think of all the time I wasted working so hard to accomplish something just to lose it to someone else, I get nauseous.
4. Teflon people.... I want to be one
5. I think what bothers me the most is that I have no zeal for anything here lately except sleep.
6. All this rain is starting to bum me out. I really enjoy my quality 'me time' when I walk, but the lightning and thunder are deterring me just a hair. I would walk in the rain...what's a little water?...but being electrocuted would just be the icing on the cake for this horrible year. Wait, it's only May!!! Lord have mercy...
7. When Mom reads my palm, she tells me that I was going to have this major thing happen...well, it happened. And even though I feel dead-ish, I know I'm not, so I have to deal. I've grown to hate dealing and coping. They suck. Shouldn't it be somebody else's turn to sweep the flotsam and jetsam out of their lives for a change?
8. Not loving my job here lately. I think it's that whole zeal thing again. People that I normally hit the ignore button on are really starting to push MY buttons. Tolerance, thy name is no longer Sharon.
9. Let's see...I'll try to be upbeat...hmmm...my garden's getting plenty of water. My ass is going to grow huge again, but the garden is being watered.
10. I was told my new haircut was sexy...hey, now...that's upbeat. Of course the person telling me was a degenerate, but hey, a compliment is a compliment.
11. Night at the Museum-The Smithsonian was not that great. Wait for the DVD. However...X-Men: Origins and Star Trek rocked like nobody's business. Hugh Jackman is soooooooo hot and he was naked...nuff said.
12. Food tastes like seasoned cardboard and paste now. Huge step forward.
13. Barry Manilow is very soothing.
14. Stupid rain...
15. I need to get my little dog a friend...a live friend...her relationship with the stuffed monkey is disturbing. Not only does she hump him, she brings him balls and pretends he throws them AND then she pulls him over herself and pretends he's pinned her. She's too weird and its creepy. Puppy love in more ways than one.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Early morning musings
1. Great googies, its early.
2. No tears for 3 days...I think I've finally hit the bottom of the well...or regained my senses...or something. Of course, it does help to not see an arm hanging out the window of a truck.
3. Last night to the Mexican buffet...not exactly on my eating program, but at least I'm not being so militant about it that I was rude, especially since somebody else paid for it. Once in a blue moon won't kill me and I'll throw in an extra mile today to make up for it.
4. I'm taking Sara prom dress shopping today and tomorrow if we don't find one...it's our last one; this whole empty nest thing is looming like a great white whale.
5. Even after having Gabby over the night before last and staying up late last night chatting, I still didn't sleep very well. I need to figure out something else to quiet my brain so that I can sleep throughout the night.
6. If age is just a number, why is it one of the first things people bring up when they're getting to know each other?
7. I need a pedicure in the worst way. Jogging/walking is harsh on one's tootsies. I'm thinking flaming hot, streetwalking red polish...Dad's cringing, ya'll know that.
8. I should get up and go grab some breakfast, but I just can't bear the thought of ham AGAIN. It seemed like a good idea at the time because it was so easy to snatch and run...but now it's getting a little old. I think it will be roast beef this week. Yummy!
9.Love that new Darius Rucker song "Don't Think I Don't Think About It", the line that says "sometimes we make choices and we have to live with them"...I think certain people are regretting their choices now or perhaps just thinking that perhaps they may have been a bit presumptive in their decisions. This causes me to slightly, as to not upset Karma, to laugh a little gleefully.
10. I wish I had some vacation time...I need a little R & R would set me up just fine. Perhaps to North Carolina to see the leaves change and all the new babies, you know, cubs and birds and what not, doing their thing. Maybe a weekend trip after Sara graduates, go to the shore and have a little one-on-one. Sigh...good stuff.
11. Okay, maybe toast and peanut butter and milk.
12. My garden at work is getting big, but I would rather be harvesting something other than weeds.
13. I guess the search for the prom dress starts now...cross your fingers!
2. No tears for 3 days...I think I've finally hit the bottom of the well...or regained my senses...or something. Of course, it does help to not see an arm hanging out the window of a truck.
3. Last night to the Mexican buffet...not exactly on my eating program, but at least I'm not being so militant about it that I was rude, especially since somebody else paid for it. Once in a blue moon won't kill me and I'll throw in an extra mile today to make up for it.
4. I'm taking Sara prom dress shopping today and tomorrow if we don't find one...it's our last one; this whole empty nest thing is looming like a great white whale.
5. Even after having Gabby over the night before last and staying up late last night chatting, I still didn't sleep very well. I need to figure out something else to quiet my brain so that I can sleep throughout the night.
6. If age is just a number, why is it one of the first things people bring up when they're getting to know each other?
7. I need a pedicure in the worst way. Jogging/walking is harsh on one's tootsies. I'm thinking flaming hot, streetwalking red polish...Dad's cringing, ya'll know that.
8. I should get up and go grab some breakfast, but I just can't bear the thought of ham AGAIN. It seemed like a good idea at the time because it was so easy to snatch and run...but now it's getting a little old. I think it will be roast beef this week. Yummy!
9.Love that new Darius Rucker song "Don't Think I Don't Think About It", the line that says "sometimes we make choices and we have to live with them"...I think certain people are regretting their choices now or perhaps just thinking that perhaps they may have been a bit presumptive in their decisions. This causes me to slightly, as to not upset Karma, to laugh a little gleefully.
10. I wish I had some vacation time...I need a little R & R would set me up just fine. Perhaps to North Carolina to see the leaves change and all the new babies, you know, cubs and birds and what not, doing their thing. Maybe a weekend trip after Sara graduates, go to the shore and have a little one-on-one. Sigh...good stuff.
11. Okay, maybe toast and peanut butter and milk.
12. My garden at work is getting big, but I would rather be harvesting something other than weeds.
13. I guess the search for the prom dress starts now...cross your fingers!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Random Thoughts the Day before my B'day
1. Andes mints and Parrot Bay Wave Runners are not a taste sensation to be savored.2. I only need 1 1/2 Wave Runners to be over-tipsy so excuse my spelling, my sentence structure, the foul language and anytime I tell someone to specifically to kiss my ass until their lips chap and then they can suck my nose 'til my head caves in.3. Fodder is singing "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins, but I think he really do.4. Wave Runners are dee-licious5. My husband sometimes smells dee-licious...it's 'Tim McGraw' for those of you who want to know6. The family is having a cook-out for me tomorrow. I love grilled hamburgers. I have steaks ready to grill and taters to bake, but I don't see it happening tonite. Poor hungry family7. Happiness is complicated.8. I blew up Sara's car coz I think I'm smarter than anybody else, but maybe it's no worse off than it was...lets hope!9. I need to buy towels.10. Quotes my sister gave me (she loves me, by the way, so I must not be such a void of humanity)1. "You are too valuable to waste away in the dark." 2. "You are truly worthy of great things and of love and respect."3. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."4. "Happiness is a by-product of how you choose to live your life. This requires action on your part to achieve happiness and maintain it."5. "There is a value in all experiences, it just may take a closer look or a little extra time to see things for what they really are. Realize that since you don't know when you might lose control of everything, you have to live your life in a way that leaves no unfinished business should it happen. Make the most of the time you have as an active participant in life. Part of getting your mind around the cycle of life (and what you don't control) is making sure that you maximize what you do control - and that is the time you have now. Don't waste it focusing on situations you can't change.
11. Waiting is way over-rated...at least according to Taco Bell
12. I'm listening to "What About Me" by Kenny Rogers, Kim Carnes and James Ingram...you should too, then stop and think...what does she mean by that?
13. I think everyone who reads my blogs either as a real friend or a fricking nosy lurker should ask themselves "what does she mean by that?" My friends will know, my family will sigh and my non-friends can so kiss my ass coz it's generally about their skank asses.
14. Wave Runner #3....this ain't gonna be a good nite, so I'm going to hide my phone from myself...drunk dialing can't be good for nobody. Funny? Yes... Troublesome? No doubt.... Smart? By no stretch of the imagination! Yay, I love being me and NOT you.
15. Now I'm listening to "Life Turned Her That Way" by Ricky Van Shelton...I'm wondering if I listened to more upbeat music if I would indeed be a more upbeat person? Who the hell cares? If you don't like me, just hang out with like minded folks and trash talk me...like you need a fricking invitation, right?
16. Could I possibly be a belligerant imbiber?
17. Am I intoxicated if I still have excellent grammer and a sterling grasp of syntax?
18. I'm going to shower but not shave. You can't get lucky if you shave.
19. Now it's "The Twelfth of Never" by Donny Osmond. I am a sad, sad, little (not really) woman.
20. Stress induced dermatitis can't be seen in the dark, wink wink
21. Don't you hate it when people tell you to do impossible things like they're really easy?
22. I want to be a Teflon person.
23. Sister, if I'm such a good person, why do I always feel like a pile of shit?
24. "Anybody but Sharon"...what the fuck does that mean? At least you know where I've been AND I've had all my shots.
25. I should never have 2nd guessed Fodder on mechanical things. I misunderstand so much when it comes to technical things. I hate being a dumb girl. However, I've been told it's just because I haven't been given the opportunity or taught. So maybe I'll improve in time.
26. I guess that's all. I love most of you, like the rest, and despise the haters with every fiber of my being.
27. Birthday tomorrow. Can't wait to see my girls.
11. Waiting is way over-rated...at least according to Taco Bell
12. I'm listening to "What About Me" by Kenny Rogers, Kim Carnes and James Ingram...you should too, then stop and think...what does she mean by that?
13. I think everyone who reads my blogs either as a real friend or a fricking nosy lurker should ask themselves "what does she mean by that?" My friends will know, my family will sigh and my non-friends can so kiss my ass coz it's generally about their skank asses.
14. Wave Runner #3....this ain't gonna be a good nite, so I'm going to hide my phone from myself...drunk dialing can't be good for nobody. Funny? Yes... Troublesome? No doubt.... Smart? By no stretch of the imagination! Yay, I love being me and NOT you.
15. Now I'm listening to "Life Turned Her That Way" by Ricky Van Shelton...I'm wondering if I listened to more upbeat music if I would indeed be a more upbeat person? Who the hell cares? If you don't like me, just hang out with like minded folks and trash talk me...like you need a fricking invitation, right?
16. Could I possibly be a belligerant imbiber?
17. Am I intoxicated if I still have excellent grammer and a sterling grasp of syntax?
18. I'm going to shower but not shave. You can't get lucky if you shave.
19. Now it's "The Twelfth of Never" by Donny Osmond. I am a sad, sad, little (not really) woman.
20. Stress induced dermatitis can't be seen in the dark, wink wink
21. Don't you hate it when people tell you to do impossible things like they're really easy?
22. I want to be a Teflon person.
23. Sister, if I'm such a good person, why do I always feel like a pile of shit?
24. "Anybody but Sharon"...what the fuck does that mean? At least you know where I've been AND I've had all my shots.
25. I should never have 2nd guessed Fodder on mechanical things. I misunderstand so much when it comes to technical things. I hate being a dumb girl. However, I've been told it's just because I haven't been given the opportunity or taught. So maybe I'll improve in time.
26. I guess that's all. I love most of you, like the rest, and despise the haters with every fiber of my being.
27. Birthday tomorrow. Can't wait to see my girls.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Completely Random Thoughts - Part 15
1) I am overtired today
2) That Toby Keith song keeps playing over and over in my head “How do you like me now?”. I guess in the grand scheme of things, I’m not the worst thing that could have happened.
3) Wendy’s chili = Cabbage
4) Sometimes peoples attempt at humor irks me. Not everyone is funny—deal with it and move the hell on.
5) Got to pack
6) It is going to be sooooo cold up there. It wouldn’t be so bad, but my brother-in-law, the miser, keeps the thermostat on like 62. I don’t know about you, but that’s cold
7) I’m being haunted by the ghost of my gallbladder. I’m not sure if it was the orange juice I drank yesterday, or the sloppy joes or the chili or the pretzels or the sodas. I’m thinking the mix might be responsible for the icky.
8) Saw a movie Sunday—Vantage Point—it was awesome. I give it 2 thumbs up!
9) I need to remember to give Dee Dee back her cough syrup before she hocks up a lung.
10) Every day I am amazed at the pettiness of people. Or is it petulance? Either way, little temper tantrums and sullenness and the cold shoulder are just a coward’s way of dealing with your issues. Don’t get me wrong, I will pout myself…don’t want to come across as a hypocrite. But I don’t generally do the boo-boo lip over the slights other people have done to me, but rather of the fact that I allowed myself to be mad at, disappointed in or outmaneuvered by yet another person. Then I’ll pout at my dumbness.
12) Speaking of dumb, I just got done watching the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States of America. Back story: I try very hard not to discuss politics, religion or childrearing with strangers, friends, co-workers or loved ones. It only leads to trouble and hard feelings. That being said, I follow politics somewhat because it is my duty and my right as an American citizen to be informed. I’m excited to part of the democratic process, proud to be an American. I think George Bush has made a mockery of his office and shed no tears at his leaving office. I have high hopes for Barak Obama as do most Americans who like to work and eat and have a roof over their heads. He has a long rough row to hoe, but at least he knows what its like to owe money, put himself through college and struggle. Therefore, he can sympathize. He spoke of America being in a cold bitter winter right now, but we can move forward. He’s a heck of speaker. All that being said, when the inbred, mouth-breathing idiots who have lived off the teat of this country, bearing too many unplanned children that my taxes go to feed and clothe and educate while I am struggling to get my own kid through school , fed and decently attired, HAVE the BALLS to ask stupid questions like “is the n-word there yet?” or “has anyone shot that n-word yet?” while I am trying to watch and hear a momentous moment in history, it makes my fricking blood boil. Your opinion you have a right to express, but your ignorance? Take that shit down the road. It doesn’t matter whether you like the man or his politics, and no, he’s not very experienced in the political arena nor does he have any foreign policy background. But he is smart enough to have surrounded himself with people who do. Don’t belittle his accomplishment based on something like color. We’ve had enough of the democracy cum autocracy that we’ve been dealing with for the last 8 years. We’ve had enough of a president who failed to listen to his advisers and based all of his decisions on what his father started in his own disappointing term of office. Example, what did Dick Cheney do besides shoot somebody in the face and pull a muscle before the inauguration today? Hell if I know. If he was heavily involved in politics, wouldn’t I have heard something?
13) That random thought just kept on coming, didn’t it?
14) I can’t play computer games when I get home tonight. The swelling is just now coming down in my arm and it’s after noon. Typing doesn’t bother it that bad, but running that mouse is a bitch.
15) Just a quick side trip back to politics. Two of the people I love most in this world could care less about the political climate. Naughty, it’s your country…take an interest!
16) Seeing how little content I have to draw since I’ve been blissfully, marvelously and completely happy, I now understand why so many of our greatest writers (which I am not attesting to be) did their best work strained, drained, stressed and messed. Look at Edgar Allen Poe and Ernest Hemingway…brilliant men, totally f*cked up.
17) A quote I wanted to comment on: Before you begin on the journey of revenge, dig two graves. ~Proverb I’m going to wax philosophical on this one. I believe that by the time a person is driven to seek revenge, something has already died in them. Could be hope, could be love or desire, drive, ambition, or inspiration, could be anything that a person treasures and puts value in. The only reason a person would need revenge is to fill the void left by the death of a dream. Are they seeking to replace their loss by taking something away from the person who arranged it? Maybe. Does it work? Partially. Is it worth it? …depends.
18) I used to list all the things in my happy place, but I think my mental home is following along the lines of my regular home. I don’t want much in it, except for the things I just can’t be without. Right now, I can’t think of anything.
19) Didn’t sleep good last night, my mind was too busy planning. Sometimes I wish I weren’t such a planner, but rather did things on a whim. But then I wouldn’t be Sharon and what a loss that would be, huh?
20) I need WD-40 for my desk keyboard shelf.
21) Kansas is going to be so cold
22) I need more iron, I am covered in bruises.
23) Overthinking will eventually be my downfall.
24) I think romance is in the heart of a believer; if someone brings you roses when you prefer daisies, it’s not romantic
From perky to pissy in one breath…I am talented.
Love ya’ll!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Thinking of Mom
Just memories of my mom that shot up when I was scrapbook surfing…YES! I know! My life is dull and I need to exchange it…later, baby.
1. Song - High Hopes: Just what makes that little ol’ ant, think he can move a rubber tree plant…I sang it to my girls and I caught myself singing it to Grady the other day…
2. You playing head thinker, eye winker, nose smeller, mouth eater, chin chopper, gobble gobble gobble…again, I played this with my 3 original monsters, now I’m using it to teach Lili how to embarrass her Nanny with it. See, we were playing it the other day while we were outside chalking up the sidewalk. Naturally, we had chalk all over our hands and what with the pointing out of the different spots…. Well, to make a long story short, when the neighbor lady came over to chat over the fence, I had forgot about the chalk. She kept looking at me funny, but I figured it was because she rarely encounters such a striking figure of female femininity as myself. Sadly, that wasn’t it. When I went inside a little while later, I looked in the mirror and lo and behold! I was a living chalk painting, kinetic baby art if you will. Lil-1, Nanny-0
3. The white platform sandals with the strawberry on the toes. I wanted to wear those things so bad. If I had known they would be popular again, I would have put them somewhere to be worn now.
4. Exercising in the living room- The Richard Simmons method if I remember correctly with a side of Solid Gold dancing. Thank God there were no videos in phones back in the day.
5. The best diet tip ever? Air-popped popcorn before every meal. I don’t know how glamorous or trendy or whatever that was, but it worked, if I remember.
6. Hey, Mom…guess what? I wore foundation in my 9th grade class picture…nyah nyah :-D. Of course, looking at it now, why I chose that particular shade of orange is beyond me. Of course, I don’t wear it nowadays, nor have I ever worn it regularly. Maybe that’s why I have such good skin still. Lucky me, smart you.
7. Singing in the car on all road trips…good times.
8. How many times did we hear Mr. Roboto on the way to Louisiana? 1032? Lord, how I hate that song!
9. If my mommy wants duck soup….J
10. Your promise to my 3rd grade teacher that you would stomp her God-damned ears in the ground if she ever embarrassed me again or made me cry. Now that’s a memory to hold dear…I have channeled that particular angry mama bear whenever I have needed to chastise an unmotivated educator with poor judgement into rethinking their attitude toward my little darlings. That’s why my girls could shut down any crap at school with the words “don’t make me call my mom”. I’m so proud…(tearing up)
Monday, January 12, 2009
Completely Random Thoughts-Part 14
1) Only 55 more days until daylight savings time…woo hoo! Can’t wait to start walking again. Disclaimer: I have a sad little life, so bear with me.
2) Lili is extremely jealous of the new baby being in Nanny’s lap. I think her exact words were “Nanny, stop” punctuated with the Damien stare and the little pudgy finger pointed accusingly at Baby Gabby. Sigh…I foresee a row of rough hoeing ahead.
3) Icy Hot should always be washed off your hands thoroughly after applying, ESPECIALLY before you scratch inside your ear…make a note.
4) Don’t you just love to get phone calls where the person on the other end doesn’t talk, just listens to you saying hello over and over?
5) I scrapbooked this weekend, yay me! Got a two-pager done of Sara’s Jr. Prom…don’t love it, will probably take it apart a little bit and one of just her and RJ being goofs. Don’t love that one either, but I will think on it a little bit longer before the OCD steps in and takes over.
6) Not everyone appreciates a dry sense of humor…or else they don’t get it, which makes it sad and just a tiny bit funnier to me. J
7) I hate counting pennies, but its nice to know that high dollar college education is paying off, huh?
8) I don’t think double oat bran bread is in my best interest, gastro intestinally speaking that is. Let’s just say ‘cabbage’.
9) I wonder how many times I’ve listened to “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It” since it came out?
10) When people blow their noses right outside my window while I’m eating lunch, it makes me want to throw up a little.
11) Steak burrito with salsa verde…you know my ulcer is gonna love me today. On the bright side, I’m breathing a lot more clearly LOL
12) Anyone besides me ever notice that the intro for O-town’s “All or Nothing” and the Backstreet Boys “Drowning” is exactly the same?
13) Yes, I like boy bands, sue me.
14) Is it too late to rethink the whole burrito thing? Ow, damned ghost gallbladder!
15) I read over some of my very first blogs this weekend—you know the ones I wrote when I was full of hate and loathing and venom and well, you get the idea. Boy, was I angry! Glad to know I’ve finally gotten over all that and moved on but now I understand why those who love me were so worried about public safety. Equally glad that I found a hobby that redirected all my time and energy AND that I have multiple babies to love. Yay, me.
16) Dee Dee is a red head today…it’s cute. I’m going to wait and dye my hair when I go to my sister’s. She has water pressure and regular water at her house.
17) I just want to hear “yes, you may”, that’s all.
18) Oh, Heaven’s to Murgatroyd, my stomach is already killing me.
19) Quote “It is what it is until it isn’t anymore”…is that deep or what?
20) Too many people today—I just want to take a long ride down a dirt road, some alone quality me time.
21) Men are easily placated by food and drink—just like babies.
22) The smell of Carmex takes me straight back to high school and cold Friday night football games.
23) How many times am I going to get….ummm, I forgot what I was going to say. I went to the restroom and this thought just went poof!
24) I am so glad everyone is getting along.
25) I am fricking hating life at this exact moment…I think I’m having a Sybil episode.
26) I still have snowmen cavorting around my living room. I really need to pack them all away, but they seem to have bred (hence the snowman orgy) and no longer fit in their boxes.
27) Another battle lost, how will I survive?
That’s all for today…so furiously mad over the overwhelming stupidity of smart people that I can barely tolerate existing on the same plane. That being said, love to all the brilliant smart people in my life who don’t make me want to run screaming into the streets, shouting, “the morons are coming, the morons are coming!”
Stupid damn people, they could screw up a wet dream.
2) Lili is extremely jealous of the new baby being in Nanny’s lap. I think her exact words were “Nanny, stop” punctuated with the Damien stare and the little pudgy finger pointed accusingly at Baby Gabby. Sigh…I foresee a row of rough hoeing ahead.
3) Icy Hot should always be washed off your hands thoroughly after applying, ESPECIALLY before you scratch inside your ear…make a note.
4) Don’t you just love to get phone calls where the person on the other end doesn’t talk, just listens to you saying hello over and over?
5) I scrapbooked this weekend, yay me! Got a two-pager done of Sara’s Jr. Prom…don’t love it, will probably take it apart a little bit and one of just her and RJ being goofs. Don’t love that one either, but I will think on it a little bit longer before the OCD steps in and takes over.
6) Not everyone appreciates a dry sense of humor…or else they don’t get it, which makes it sad and just a tiny bit funnier to me. J
7) I hate counting pennies, but its nice to know that high dollar college education is paying off, huh?
8) I don’t think double oat bran bread is in my best interest, gastro intestinally speaking that is. Let’s just say ‘cabbage’.
9) I wonder how many times I’ve listened to “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It” since it came out?
10) When people blow their noses right outside my window while I’m eating lunch, it makes me want to throw up a little.
11) Steak burrito with salsa verde…you know my ulcer is gonna love me today. On the bright side, I’m breathing a lot more clearly LOL
12) Anyone besides me ever notice that the intro for O-town’s “All or Nothing” and the Backstreet Boys “Drowning” is exactly the same?
13) Yes, I like boy bands, sue me.
14) Is it too late to rethink the whole burrito thing? Ow, damned ghost gallbladder!
15) I read over some of my very first blogs this weekend—you know the ones I wrote when I was full of hate and loathing and venom and well, you get the idea. Boy, was I angry! Glad to know I’ve finally gotten over all that and moved on but now I understand why those who love me were so worried about public safety. Equally glad that I found a hobby that redirected all my time and energy AND that I have multiple babies to love. Yay, me.
16) Dee Dee is a red head today…it’s cute. I’m going to wait and dye my hair when I go to my sister’s. She has water pressure and regular water at her house.
17) I just want to hear “yes, you may”, that’s all.
18) Oh, Heaven’s to Murgatroyd, my stomach is already killing me.
19) Quote “It is what it is until it isn’t anymore”…is that deep or what?
20) Too many people today—I just want to take a long ride down a dirt road, some alone quality me time.
21) Men are easily placated by food and drink—just like babies.
22) The smell of Carmex takes me straight back to high school and cold Friday night football games.
23) How many times am I going to get….ummm, I forgot what I was going to say. I went to the restroom and this thought just went poof!
24) I am so glad everyone is getting along.
25) I am fricking hating life at this exact moment…I think I’m having a Sybil episode.
26) I still have snowmen cavorting around my living room. I really need to pack them all away, but they seem to have bred (hence the snowman orgy) and no longer fit in their boxes.
27) Another battle lost, how will I survive?
That’s all for today…so furiously mad over the overwhelming stupidity of smart people that I can barely tolerate existing on the same plane. That being said, love to all the brilliant smart people in my life who don’t make me want to run screaming into the streets, shouting, “the morons are coming, the morons are coming!”
Stupid damn people, they could screw up a wet dream.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Completely Random Thoughts - Part 13
1) Still got the portly Pilgrim people on my desk…hmmm, I think its just laziness now instead of not being ready to let the holidays go.
2)My arm is so achy! Damn cold front reminds me that I’ve turned into a human barometer. It gets cold--my arm aches and my jaw gets puffy, a warm front moves in--the ear bug dances, the pressure drops—my knee swells. Basically, I’m old and almost worn out.
3) Dee Dee’s a mean ass, at least that what she claims…I hate to tell her, but in the mean ass arena, she ain’t nothing but an amateur.
4) I’m making a “To Do” list, its about boring…I’m trying to stick to the ‘need to do’ and not the ‘want to do’. I know what I want to do, but that probably won’t happen this weekend.
5) I think I’ll go get Lili so that we can make brownies. Ought to be fun and oh so messy! She likes to participate when I’m in the kitchen. I need to find her a little tiny fat baby apron.
6) I love it when a plan comes together :-)
7) Men shouldn’t stand with their hands on their waists. It looks gay—make a note.
8) I want a wicker clothes basket
9) I wonder if Sara, Roddy and RJ are as tired of chicken as I am?
10) New scrapbook magazine on my desk, trying to get into the groove again, but I just can’t. I flip through the pages and go ‘eh’. Maybe I should go through my stuff and get rid of ½ of it and then I won’t feel so overwhelmed and might get something accomplished.
11)Too much stuff is definitely a problem for me
12) I need to wash my jacket, my cuffs are dirty and the Happy Bunny looks a little grimy
13) I’ve worn my hair up 3 days in a row…I’m in a rut
14) Pork chops for dinner, but I don’t feel like frying them. Maybe pork chop and rice casserole.
15) I think I OD’d on Icy Hot, oooooo is my arm tingling!
16) Ever notice how doing the right thing only makes things right for other people? I personally would rather be selfish and greedy and egocentric…alas, that’s not my DNA. Perhaps I could learn though, I am a very good student.
17) Tick-tock, tick-tock, damn that ever ticking clock.
18) “Too much, too little, too late to ever try again, too much too little too late to try again with you…”. I hate it when 70’s songs get stuck in my head, especially BAD 70's songs
19) I saw this quote “I love you up to the sky and back” and got to thinking about how my family says “I love you”. Ours is “I love you too much”, or “I love you…I love you more, no don’t, es do” (that’s a back and forth thing), or “I love you the whole world…and a snap (finger snap here)”, “al lo youuuu” and “lovee”. We used to say “wubbee” but that’s since be tainted, so we don’t use it anymore.
20) It’s soooo comforting to always know where my husband is…on the computer or somewhere else.
21) I am a HUGE marshmallow, but it works for me, so there you go…
22) I need a new running away from home destination. I have a feeling Maine is colder than KS and I still haven’t recovered from that 5 days. Brrr…somewhere tropical, with bright colors, sunshine and yummy tropical drinks with umbrellas. Does that sound as good to you as it does me, sugar?
23) That whole closing the barn door after the horse has run off and stayed gone? This is me laughing my ass off…really, its half gone, I just checked.
24) I love Chinese food. I would give Roddy’s left testicle for some chicken chow mein or maybe some spicy chicken and broccoli…still can’t get away from the chicken. I think I want Chinese for my birthday, that and about 10 Washington Apples, 3 Smirnoff Ices, and a balloon—the kind that doesn’t pop, coz I have a ‘thing’ about balloons. That’s right, I’m 42-ish and I have a phobia about clowns and balloons.
25) I’ve written about 5 things in this line that I’ve had to erase for the pure provocation factor they held, but don’t worry, friends o’ mine, I’ll send them to you in a message so that you can be as tickled as I am by my cutting wit.
27) Anyone who reads this and thinks that I am as full of myself as I sarcastically infer that I am is just a stupid silly bitch who needs to read and get out more…I’m just saying…
28) And anyone reading my blogs who thinks that poorly of me in the first place should maybe not be reading them, but stay over on the twat side of the dodgeball line.
29) Wow, this upbeat happy list is taking its usual bitter turn and that was not my intention. It’s supposed to be all about butterflies and broncos.
30) My desk is all sticky. I wonder if folks are having sex on it…yuck.
31) Who would want to be Bunny Police and bust deer for doing the dirty on the dike? Just a tongue twister…say it fast 5 times real fast.
32) I can’t wait to wash this Icy Hot off…it reeks!
33) I will scrapbook, I will, I will, I will…
34) Yay, it’s almost time to go home and…well, at least I won’t be at work. Yay, me!
Lovee, big hugs and a small pinch to everybody…and a little kiss on the side ;-)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Completely Random Thoughts - Part 12
)Don't you just hate it when you have a plan of action and you want to take care of something and NO ONE cooperates! Arghhh!
2)My tummy is in a vise today…love being female, it rocks
3)Lili has to take dance lessons as soon as she's big enough. That child does love her boogie woogie
4)Which do you think is truer? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or Hell hath no fury like a woman ignored? I think I would rather be scorned (me, personally) because to be scorned would take a conscious effort on someone's part but to be ignored is to be insignificant.
5)Oatmeal, milk and diet Mountain Dew…now THAT'S the breakfast of champions!
6) Why do I have to be an all or nothing person? The world isn't black and white so why can't I do gray?
7) There is no joy in Mudville today.
8) Happiness is complicated
9) A busy mind helps a heavy heart
10) The portly Pilgrim people are still on my desk—it might be time to pack them up and put them away
11) It's the day of problem customers; no one's happy, everybody's grumpy, and I am not tolerant of bullshit. Can we say a good time will not be had by anyone today?
12) Looking at my desk, it seems like all of customers and vendors don't want me to lose track of my days. I have soooooo many calendars. Sadly, I don't have anything of note to record.
13) I am a grandmother of 3…how surreal is that?
14) Ringgggg ringgggggg "Good morning (insert company name here), may I help you? (thick Middle East accent) "May I speak to Tony please?" (me) I'm sorry, we don't have anyone here by that name". (him—loudly) "Yes you do, I just talked to him, Tony, his name is Tony". (me) "Could you mean Tom? We do have a Tom". (him, louder and a little bit pissy) "No, no, no, Tony, his name is Tony, I want to talk to him now!" (me, a whole LOT pissy but still professional) "Sir, we do NOT have a Tony, we have a Tom, Jim, Leslie, Fred, Jay, Glenn, Wayne, Martin and occasionally we have a Bruce, but we do not have a Tony, what do you need?" (him, loud, unintelligible and a wee bit hysterical, in my opinion) "I want to order the aluminum sheet, I told Tony, I want to order it". (me, deep sigh) "Alright, you need to talk to Tom, let me transfer you to the steel office." (him, VERY hysterical) "No, no, no, I am not wanting steel, I am wanting the alumin…" (me, click, transfer, OMG, deliver me)
15) Why do people have to eat Vienna sausages in front of me? Ewwww….
16) "This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive, this is what it means to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell, you'd be held" Held by Natalie Grant
17) It feels like someone stabbed one of those ol'-timey hand drills into my abdomen and is slowly twisting it and wrapping my guts in a knot…ah, good times.
18) It's easy to be strong when you're not confronted with any of your weaknesses.
19) Ever wake up one morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say "Damn, when did you become such a bitch?"
20) Good googies, I'm trying to think of something funny and upbeat to blog about, but maybe this isn't the week. That's my problem, I have all these things going on and I try to act like everything's normal and fine and whatever and I just can't keep it all on an even keel. It's like trying to shove 50 pounds of crap in a 5 pound sack. Eventually, something's going to trickle out. No fricking wonder I have ulcers.
21) I think falling in love when you're older is like catching chicken pox when you're older—even the mildest case can really f*ck you up.
22) Having RJ around is like finally getting a son (James and Josh are like my sons too, but they don't live with me). I should have known any son of mine would be a goof, but who knew he'd be so handy taking out the trash and stuff?
23) I want to scrapbook tonight. I think I'll do that rather than sit on the computer and investigate other people's activities. I have a picture of Grady at the beach when he was 7 months old that is TOO precious for words.
24) There are some really wonderful people in the world who have no idea of their worth and how important it is to others that they just ARE
25) Some aches just have to be endured to be outlasted...ow, my gallbladder or spleen feels like its coming apart.
2)My tummy is in a vise today…love being female, it rocks
3)Lili has to take dance lessons as soon as she's big enough. That child does love her boogie woogie
4)Which do you think is truer? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or Hell hath no fury like a woman ignored? I think I would rather be scorned (me, personally) because to be scorned would take a conscious effort on someone's part but to be ignored is to be insignificant.
5)Oatmeal, milk and diet Mountain Dew…now THAT'S the breakfast of champions!
6) Why do I have to be an all or nothing person? The world isn't black and white so why can't I do gray?
7) There is no joy in Mudville today.
8) Happiness is complicated
9) A busy mind helps a heavy heart
10) The portly Pilgrim people are still on my desk—it might be time to pack them up and put them away
11) It's the day of problem customers; no one's happy, everybody's grumpy, and I am not tolerant of bullshit. Can we say a good time will not be had by anyone today?
12) Looking at my desk, it seems like all of customers and vendors don't want me to lose track of my days. I have soooooo many calendars. Sadly, I don't have anything of note to record.
13) I am a grandmother of 3…how surreal is that?
14) Ringgggg ringgggggg "Good morning (insert company name here), may I help you? (thick Middle East accent) "May I speak to Tony please?" (me) I'm sorry, we don't have anyone here by that name". (him—loudly) "Yes you do, I just talked to him, Tony, his name is Tony". (me) "Could you mean Tom? We do have a Tom". (him, louder and a little bit pissy) "No, no, no, Tony, his name is Tony, I want to talk to him now!" (me, a whole LOT pissy but still professional) "Sir, we do NOT have a Tony, we have a Tom, Jim, Leslie, Fred, Jay, Glenn, Wayne, Martin and occasionally we have a Bruce, but we do not have a Tony, what do you need?" (him, loud, unintelligible and a wee bit hysterical, in my opinion) "I want to order the aluminum sheet, I told Tony, I want to order it". (me, deep sigh) "Alright, you need to talk to Tom, let me transfer you to the steel office." (him, VERY hysterical) "No, no, no, I am not wanting steel, I am wanting the alumin…" (me, click, transfer, OMG, deliver me)
15) Why do people have to eat Vienna sausages in front of me? Ewwww….
16) "This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive, this is what it means to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell, you'd be held" Held by Natalie Grant
17) It feels like someone stabbed one of those ol'-timey hand drills into my abdomen and is slowly twisting it and wrapping my guts in a knot…ah, good times.
18) It's easy to be strong when you're not confronted with any of your weaknesses.
19) Ever wake up one morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say "Damn, when did you become such a bitch?"
20) Good googies, I'm trying to think of something funny and upbeat to blog about, but maybe this isn't the week. That's my problem, I have all these things going on and I try to act like everything's normal and fine and whatever and I just can't keep it all on an even keel. It's like trying to shove 50 pounds of crap in a 5 pound sack. Eventually, something's going to trickle out. No fricking wonder I have ulcers.
21) I think falling in love when you're older is like catching chicken pox when you're older—even the mildest case can really f*ck you up.
22) Having RJ around is like finally getting a son (James and Josh are like my sons too, but they don't live with me). I should have known any son of mine would be a goof, but who knew he'd be so handy taking out the trash and stuff?
23) I want to scrapbook tonight. I think I'll do that rather than sit on the computer and investigate other people's activities. I have a picture of Grady at the beach when he was 7 months old that is TOO precious for words.
24) There are some really wonderful people in the world who have no idea of their worth and how important it is to others that they just ARE
25) Some aches just have to be endured to be outlasted...ow, my gallbladder or spleen feels like its coming apart.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Dear Dad...
Dear Dad,
Its been a really long time since I felt the need to write you, so you can probably imagine how things are. Just like when you used to be here, you generally heard from me more often when things were crappy. Isn’t that weird? I guess I just needed somebody to lean on and you were perfect for that. You weren’t a real lovey-dovey guy—except with the grandbabies—but you listened, mulled over, considered and then summed up whatever issue we were having in one of your oft used but always appropriate clichés:
1) “Sharon Denise, you got to be smarter than the shit you’re working with”. This worked for calculators, hand tools, cars etc. It generally followed news of an owie I got peeling potatoes or changing a tire or a checking mistake because I didn’t balance correctly,
2) “Sharon Denise, do you go there for love or money?” This was your standard response to any work place lament. Always summed it up pretty quickly and put things in perspective.
3) “Sharon Denise, that person isn’t gonna amount to shit in a chicken’s backyard in 5 years, so why do you care?” My favorite answer of all time, coz this was your take on so and so being mean to me, or so and so stealing my boyfriend, or so and so winning a prize that should have been mine, which brings us to…
4) Sharon Denise, life is not, never has been and never will be fair and anyone who tells you different is a g** damn lie and if you’re dumb enough to believe them, then you get what you deserve. Ah, Daddy, you tender-hearted thing you
5) “Sharon Denise, you came from these loins (insert slightly obscene gesture here) so I know you ain’t as stupid as you’re being right now. No child of mind can be that g** damned dumb.” I beg to differ with you, Dad. On more than one occasion, Trey, Kenny, Laura Beth and myself can all vouch personally and for each other that yes, yes we can be that g** damned dumb.
6) “Suck it up, baby, it’ll only hurt for a minute” I’m trying Dad, I’m trying
7) “Sharon Denise, you’re grown and you make your own decisions, but remember you have to live with the fall out”. When you said it like that, I always started rethinking, coz I never found the term “fall out” a particular comforting one.
8) “That Mickey Mouse mother f*cker, tell me again how he’s relevant? Waste of f*cking skin”…sometimes I wish I didn’t see people with your eyes, Dad. Mom says that LB and I are Rose Red and Snow White, as different as night and day. LB got the ‘everyone is wonderful and good down deep’ mind set and I’ve got the ‘everyone sucks ass and blows’ thing. But my problem? I really want them to be good, I want to see the best and believe all the good that I CAN see in them. I see all this wonderful potential and I think that’s what infuriates me most. The sheer unadulterated waste of a human being. But every time I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt, you know what happens. I know you say the only person you can trust is yourself, but that’s a hard way to live, Daddy. Especially when the only person I can trust is me…that’s a laugh! I’ll screw things up for myself in a heartbeat.
I’ve told so many people how you were my compass, Dad, my own magnetic North that pointed me in the right direction whether I chose to follow it or not. I don’t know if its from leaning on you forever, or the whole Aquarian ambiguous way of dancing to my own drummer or just a faulty cog in the works, but I can’t seem to find my way at all. I just follow the shiniest, clearest star I see. Nine times out of ten, it’s just a plane. I lack purpose, Dad, and now that the girls are grown and don’t need me as much and the empty nest is looming, I’m running out of reasons to be. I know, everyone says I’m still young enough do all kind of things, that 40’s the new 30 or some such bullshit. No, 40 is halfway to death. I don’t know what I want, Dad, I just know I want…something.
I know, I know, cry you a river. I’ll get over the blues and blahs, coz I don’t have much choice. I am going to see LB in a few days (you probably already know that) so that should fix me up for a bit. I’m cleaning out my stuff, kind of weeding things out. I actually even cleaned my room, Dad. Hey, that’s not nice! I didn’t know angels were allowed to be smart asses. My New Year’s resolution is that if my stuff won’t haul in one load, I have too much stuff. I’m getting rid of the small, the large, the old and the very unnecessary. Wish me resolve, coz you know I have a tendency to hang on to things out of nostalgia, not because I need it or its useful.
Sorry this isn’t much of a letter, Dad, just a list of things I’m trying to remember today as I watch the sands running down the hourglass. One more day this side of the dirt, woot woot, as Roddy would say.
I miss you to pieces,
Sharon Denise
P.S. By the way, where did you hide my tape this time? I wish you’d quit doing that, it’s aggravating.
“You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times,
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you,
But the reason why I’m broken,
The reason why I cry,
Is how long must I wait to be with you?
I close my eyes and I see your face, if home’s where my heart is
Then I’m out of place,
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow?
I’ve never been more homesick than now”
“Homesick” by Mercy Me
Its been a really long time since I felt the need to write you, so you can probably imagine how things are. Just like when you used to be here, you generally heard from me more often when things were crappy. Isn’t that weird? I guess I just needed somebody to lean on and you were perfect for that. You weren’t a real lovey-dovey guy—except with the grandbabies—but you listened, mulled over, considered and then summed up whatever issue we were having in one of your oft used but always appropriate clichés:
1) “Sharon Denise, you got to be smarter than the shit you’re working with”. This worked for calculators, hand tools, cars etc. It generally followed news of an owie I got peeling potatoes or changing a tire or a checking mistake because I didn’t balance correctly,
2) “Sharon Denise, do you go there for love or money?” This was your standard response to any work place lament. Always summed it up pretty quickly and put things in perspective.
3) “Sharon Denise, that person isn’t gonna amount to shit in a chicken’s backyard in 5 years, so why do you care?” My favorite answer of all time, coz this was your take on so and so being mean to me, or so and so stealing my boyfriend, or so and so winning a prize that should have been mine, which brings us to…
4) Sharon Denise, life is not, never has been and never will be fair and anyone who tells you different is a g** damn lie and if you’re dumb enough to believe them, then you get what you deserve. Ah, Daddy, you tender-hearted thing you
5) “Sharon Denise, you came from these loins (insert slightly obscene gesture here) so I know you ain’t as stupid as you’re being right now. No child of mind can be that g** damned dumb.” I beg to differ with you, Dad. On more than one occasion, Trey, Kenny, Laura Beth and myself can all vouch personally and for each other that yes, yes we can be that g** damned dumb.
6) “Suck it up, baby, it’ll only hurt for a minute” I’m trying Dad, I’m trying
7) “Sharon Denise, you’re grown and you make your own decisions, but remember you have to live with the fall out”. When you said it like that, I always started rethinking, coz I never found the term “fall out” a particular comforting one.
8) “That Mickey Mouse mother f*cker, tell me again how he’s relevant? Waste of f*cking skin”…sometimes I wish I didn’t see people with your eyes, Dad. Mom says that LB and I are Rose Red and Snow White, as different as night and day. LB got the ‘everyone is wonderful and good down deep’ mind set and I’ve got the ‘everyone sucks ass and blows’ thing. But my problem? I really want them to be good, I want to see the best and believe all the good that I CAN see in them. I see all this wonderful potential and I think that’s what infuriates me most. The sheer unadulterated waste of a human being. But every time I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt, you know what happens. I know you say the only person you can trust is yourself, but that’s a hard way to live, Daddy. Especially when the only person I can trust is me…that’s a laugh! I’ll screw things up for myself in a heartbeat.
I’ve told so many people how you were my compass, Dad, my own magnetic North that pointed me in the right direction whether I chose to follow it or not. I don’t know if its from leaning on you forever, or the whole Aquarian ambiguous way of dancing to my own drummer or just a faulty cog in the works, but I can’t seem to find my way at all. I just follow the shiniest, clearest star I see. Nine times out of ten, it’s just a plane. I lack purpose, Dad, and now that the girls are grown and don’t need me as much and the empty nest is looming, I’m running out of reasons to be. I know, everyone says I’m still young enough do all kind of things, that 40’s the new 30 or some such bullshit. No, 40 is halfway to death. I don’t know what I want, Dad, I just know I want…something.
I know, I know, cry you a river. I’ll get over the blues and blahs, coz I don’t have much choice. I am going to see LB in a few days (you probably already know that) so that should fix me up for a bit. I’m cleaning out my stuff, kind of weeding things out. I actually even cleaned my room, Dad. Hey, that’s not nice! I didn’t know angels were allowed to be smart asses. My New Year’s resolution is that if my stuff won’t haul in one load, I have too much stuff. I’m getting rid of the small, the large, the old and the very unnecessary. Wish me resolve, coz you know I have a tendency to hang on to things out of nostalgia, not because I need it or its useful.
Sorry this isn’t much of a letter, Dad, just a list of things I’m trying to remember today as I watch the sands running down the hourglass. One more day this side of the dirt, woot woot, as Roddy would say.
I miss you to pieces,
Sharon Denise
P.S. By the way, where did you hide my tape this time? I wish you’d quit doing that, it’s aggravating.
“You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times,
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you,
But the reason why I’m broken,
The reason why I cry,
Is how long must I wait to be with you?
I close my eyes and I see your face, if home’s where my heart is
Then I’m out of place,
Lord, won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow?
I’ve never been more homesick than now”
“Homesick” by Mercy Me
Friday, January 2, 2009
Just some observations
Just an observation, but when someone comes up to you and says "we need to talk", there's a fair chance there is no WE involved. It generally consists of one person chewing on the other's ass like a piece of stringy beef jerky. I also like the old standby of "do we need to have a conversation?". Invariably, the asker is praying to Heaven that the askee says 'no' or else all Hell is about to break loose. I wish, I pray, I hope one day someone comes up to me with either remark, coz I'll be in like Flynn with a "why yes, yes we do, how clever of you to notice". See, now this may sound a little weird, but I practice certain conversations in my head, so that I'll be well-prepared, articulate and decisive in my delivery. No one wants to sound like a moron when they're serving someone else their ass on a verbal platter. I do it whenever I'm about to go off at the customer service schmuck at Walmart (really anywhere where customer service is a lost art, I just chose Walmart coz they're the Devil.), become unhappy with the ambivalent school counselor who has not taken my child's best interests to their heart in a way that satisfies mine, have an argument with Roddy about things I find important but he doesn't (THAT'S a good time to be had by all) or just let people know that I am aware of their foibles and shortcomings. That way when all of these people start to argue with me, I have the perfect comeback for them, I don't start stuttering and lose my train of thought, which makes me really pissy to the point I want to bitch slap a ho. It saves time and headaches for all involved, see? Always thinking, that's me.
Good Lord, I'm tired today. Wish I were up for running amok, but I'm not. I'm going to take a short nap when I get home, rest, recoup and then go visit babies. I haven't seen my munsters in 5 days. I bet Gabbers is getting huge.
You know what the great thing about having a REALLY diverse group of friends spread near and far? You get introduced to some really cool music.
Speaking of music, the CD playing right now, a Sharon Dee specialty mix is as follows
1) I'm Leaving You For Me—Aaron Tippin this is a really good song, thought provoking and all that crap, all about self awareness and being an individual
(2) I Feel the Earth Move—Carole King she's a musical genius and overlooked by all generations following the Flower Children period…and no, I was not born in that era, take off your shoes and use your toes for the big numbers
(3) Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow—Carole King heartwrenching song of f*ck and flee premonitions…it's a man thing, I know.
(4) Don't Think I Don't Think About It—Darius Rucker Got to love Darius, he was the best Hootie and now watch him sing country…now that's talent. This song makes me sing along and be sad and reminisce about something that never actually happened. That also takes talent.
(5) Do You Believe Me Now—Jimmy Wayne Nothing like telling someone I told you so…after she's moved out, is shacking up with your best friend and you're sitting at home alone on a Saturday night listening to Keith Urban and wanking off to old party videos
(6) I Love You This Much—Jimmy Wayne Makes me feel sad, and angry and deeply thankful that my Dad told me he loved me on a regular basis.
(7) Drowning—Backstreet Boys I know, I know, but how can you hear the lines "every time I breathe I take you in and my heart beats again" and "even forever don't seem like long enough" and not get all gushy inside. And yes, this horror awaits you too, I hope its not a deal breaker" LOL
(8) Boogie Shoes—K.C. and the Sunshine Band This is just good music, I don't care who you are. I defy anyone to hear the song and not move at least part of your body and if you don't, you are un-American and quite possibly a Red Communist
(9) When You Walk In The Room—Pam Tillis Song makes my heart go all aflutter coz of that 'he's here, he's here' feeling that I still remember.
(10) This Is Me You're Talking To—Trisha Yearwood Love this one, coz it clearly reveals how dumb men are. They live in your house, sleep in your bed and piss in the shower and STILL think they can pull one over on you.
(12) You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This—Toby Keith Makes me melt, that's all
(13) You're Not In Kansas Anymore—Jo Dee Messina I like the Ro-day-o line.
(14) Don't Get Me Started—Rhett Akins Again, the fireworks, heartstopping feeling of being in love. Sigh, I'm a hopeless romantic!
(15) Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye—Neal McCoy So basically, you can never say goodbye…that's good looking out there, fella, but it it is sweet.
(16) Nobody—Sylvia 80's angry female country music. The 'he's my man and he's a cheating asshole, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some little mediocre piece of ass like you steal him until I'm damned good and ready to kick his ass to the curb.
(17) Make A Move on Me—Olivia Newton-John You've wined me, you've dined me, now it's time to, well, treat me like you stole me…no more talking! I said now! (She must be in her 40's LOL)
(18) If Loving You is Wrong (I Don't Want To Be Right)—Leanne Rimes I'm a cheating bitch and I don't care what people say…give me some more booty…shocking, yes, but the fact that her whole family and all her friends know about her business and no one has ratted her out yet? She obviously doesn't live in Okeechobee, that's all I got to say.
(19) Do You Think of Me—Keith Whitley Reminds me of high school…good times
(20)You've Got a Friend—Carole King See #2
(21) Natural Woman—Carole King The ultimate 'you make me the woman I am, I wouldn't know how to be anything at all, because I'm co-dependent and apparently on crack…still it's a nice song.
(22) So Far Away—Carole King My sister and I send this one back and for to each other…we're sappy that way.
Okay, that's all my observations today. Blogging certainly makes the day go faster!
Good Lord, I'm tired today. Wish I were up for running amok, but I'm not. I'm going to take a short nap when I get home, rest, recoup and then go visit babies. I haven't seen my munsters in 5 days. I bet Gabbers is getting huge.
You know what the great thing about having a REALLY diverse group of friends spread near and far? You get introduced to some really cool music.
Speaking of music, the CD playing right now, a Sharon Dee specialty mix is as follows
1) I'm Leaving You For Me—Aaron Tippin this is a really good song, thought provoking and all that crap, all about self awareness and being an individual
(2) I Feel the Earth Move—Carole King she's a musical genius and overlooked by all generations following the Flower Children period…and no, I was not born in that era, take off your shoes and use your toes for the big numbers
(3) Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow—Carole King heartwrenching song of f*ck and flee premonitions…it's a man thing, I know.
(4) Don't Think I Don't Think About It—Darius Rucker Got to love Darius, he was the best Hootie and now watch him sing country…now that's talent. This song makes me sing along and be sad and reminisce about something that never actually happened. That also takes talent.
(5) Do You Believe Me Now—Jimmy Wayne Nothing like telling someone I told you so…after she's moved out, is shacking up with your best friend and you're sitting at home alone on a Saturday night listening to Keith Urban and wanking off to old party videos
(6) I Love You This Much—Jimmy Wayne Makes me feel sad, and angry and deeply thankful that my Dad told me he loved me on a regular basis.
(7) Drowning—Backstreet Boys I know, I know, but how can you hear the lines "every time I breathe I take you in and my heart beats again" and "even forever don't seem like long enough" and not get all gushy inside. And yes, this horror awaits you too, I hope its not a deal breaker" LOL
(8) Boogie Shoes—K.C. and the Sunshine Band This is just good music, I don't care who you are. I defy anyone to hear the song and not move at least part of your body and if you don't, you are un-American and quite possibly a Red Communist
(9) When You Walk In The Room—Pam Tillis Song makes my heart go all aflutter coz of that 'he's here, he's here' feeling that I still remember.
(10) This Is Me You're Talking To—Trisha Yearwood Love this one, coz it clearly reveals how dumb men are. They live in your house, sleep in your bed and piss in the shower and STILL think they can pull one over on you.
(12) You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This—Toby Keith Makes me melt, that's all
(13) You're Not In Kansas Anymore—Jo Dee Messina I like the Ro-day-o line.
(14) Don't Get Me Started—Rhett Akins Again, the fireworks, heartstopping feeling of being in love. Sigh, I'm a hopeless romantic!
(15) Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye—Neal McCoy So basically, you can never say goodbye…that's good looking out there, fella, but it it is sweet.
(16) Nobody—Sylvia 80's angry female country music. The 'he's my man and he's a cheating asshole, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some little mediocre piece of ass like you steal him until I'm damned good and ready to kick his ass to the curb.
(17) Make A Move on Me—Olivia Newton-John You've wined me, you've dined me, now it's time to, well, treat me like you stole me…no more talking! I said now! (She must be in her 40's LOL)
(18) If Loving You is Wrong (I Don't Want To Be Right)—Leanne Rimes I'm a cheating bitch and I don't care what people say…give me some more booty…shocking, yes, but the fact that her whole family and all her friends know about her business and no one has ratted her out yet? She obviously doesn't live in Okeechobee, that's all I got to say.
(19) Do You Think of Me—Keith Whitley Reminds me of high school…good times
(20)You've Got a Friend—Carole King See #2
(21) Natural Woman—Carole King The ultimate 'you make me the woman I am, I wouldn't know how to be anything at all, because I'm co-dependent and apparently on crack…still it's a nice song.
(22) So Far Away—Carole King My sister and I send this one back and for to each other…we're sappy that way.
Okay, that's all my observations today. Blogging certainly makes the day go faster!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Year's Day Superstition
People across the globe trust in certain superstitions related to New Year's Day. Underlying idea behind most of these superstitions is that events occurring on New Year's Day sets the pattern for the rest of the year. According to customs prevalent in their society, people perform auspicious acts to invite Lady Luck and ward off evil.
Given here are some of the most astonishing and popular New Year Superstitions:
KISS AT MIDNIGHT: We kiss those dearest to us at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but also to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next 12 months. To fail to smooch our significant others at the stroke of twelve would be to set the stage for a year of coldness. Okay, this is interesting. So kissing random strangers up in the bar does what? According to this, be un-cold to several people you barely know. Woo hoo…good times! I will of course kiss those nearest and dearest to me provided I don’t have to go looking for him as I did last time.
FIRST FOOTING: One must never leave the home before someone comes in first. First footer in the house should be ushered in with a warm welcome, be tall, dark and handsome and should not have flat feet, cross-eyes or eyebrows stretching out to meet in the middle. It would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts such as a lump of coal, a silver coin, a bit of bread, a sprig of evergreen and some salt. Blonde and redhead first footer bring bad luch and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don’t let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold. After the first footer greets everyone in the house and dropped off his gifts, he should make his way through the house and leave by a different door then he came in. I have a husband and a future son-in-law I will rent you cheap! I need to make sure though that Sara’s tweezed RJ’s uni-brow recently. I don’t really know any blondes, coz the blondes I thought I knew are actually brunettes. As for women, there’s only Sara, and maybe Allyson who would actually come over, but my girls are smart and like their sleep, so they’ll stay to the house.
FOOD: In Southern part of the United States it is said that eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck and money in particular to the one doing the dining. Other lucky foods are lentil soup (coz they look like coins) and pork-because poultry scratches backwards, a cow stands still and pigs root forward. Greens are also considered lucky. Got to get the peas, I already have a ham and collard greens and there will no eating of poultry in my house tomorrow. I forbid it! I wonder what will happen if you eat cake, coz cake is made with eggs…I don’t think I’ll risk it. It has really been an awful year except for one or two little happy moments.
DON’T LET MONEY LEAVE THE HOUSE: In several countries, people do not let money, jewelry, precious items or other invaluable things leave home on New Year Day. Hence it is said that one should not pay loans and bills or lend things to anybody. No chance of that….we should have a really good year~
NOTHING GOES OUT: People go to the extent of not taking out garbage or even not dusting their carpets on this day to ensure that nothing goes out of home during the year. If you have to deliver presents on New Year morning, it is advised to leave them in the car.. In case you must take something out from the home, let someone come with the present inside the house first. Note to self: take trash to the road tonight. Do I have any presents that need to be delivered? Hmmm, I don’t think so, Tim. Just some books for Sebastian, but I can drop those off Saturday.
DO NOT WASH DISHES OR DO LAUNDRY: In several societies washing dishes and doing laundry on New Year's day is said to lead to a death in the family during the year. Many people do not even wash hair on New Year’s Day. Yay, an authorized day off by the pagan heathens of the past. There will be no washing tomorrow…none, I tell you!
WEAR NEW CLOTHES: People believe that one should wear new clothes on a New Year's Day. This would mean receiving more new garments during the year. Red clothing is preferred for New Year’s Day since red is considered a happy color and is sure to attract the wearer to a brighter future. I can wear my new zebra shirt…so much easier to blend in that way LOL—wait it’s not red. Perhaps, I’ll go buy red drawers…yep, that’s what I’ll do. A red, sparkly thong…my sister, cousins, children and son-in-laws just cringed…good times!
AVOID CRYING: It is said that one should avoid breaking things or crying and wailing on the first day of the year, if you don't want to continue the pattern for the entire year. I don’t cry as a rule, so this one should be easy. I wonder if it’s okay to be pissy. Coz I can be pissy if I try…yes, don’t shake your head, I can get quite pissy when I am provoked.
BE POLITE: People say that one should behave nicely on New Year and must refrain from using foul language. Toughie…maybe everyone should leave the house and let me be alone tomorrow and I shouldn’t play Coffee Buzz. It will occasionally elicit the ‘f’ word out of me.
WATCH WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT: Ghost stories and conversations on death should also be avoided. I’m the ghost of Able Gable, leave the money on the table….
LETTING THE OLD YEAR OUT: At midnight, all the doors of the house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded. Let’s look at this for a moment…I live in 4 Seasons. I don’t believe it wise to open my doors at midnight. The neighborhood thugs might rob me and then money would leave the house, and I wouldn’t be polite, and someone might cry and I’ve seen some of those children…they ain’t pretty, so my whole year will be screwed. Maybe I’ll just make the Old Year a pallet in the corner with a lump of coal and a ham bone. He’ll be happy, I know he will.
STOCK UP CUPBOARDS AND WALLETS: It is believed that cupboards stocked up with food and wallets and purses full of money bring prosperity in New Year. Similarly, empty pockets or empty cupboards on New Years Eve portend a year of poverty. Pantry appears to be stocked, fridge is full and I need to go get some cash…I’m covered.
DO TOKEN AMOUNT OF WORK: It is said that one must do token amount of work on the New Year's Day. This is said to ensure advancement in career. But starting out a serious work project is unlucky on New Year’s Day. I'll get right on that
MAKE NOISE: People believe that Evil One and his attendants and servants hate din and loud noise. So, scare them away by being as loud in New Year celebrations as possible. Church bells are rung at midnight for the same reason. I can make some noise, especially if I have to go looking for Fodder at midnight. That ought to scare the Devil out of somebody…
DON’T KEEP DEBTS: Pay your bills and loans before New Year Eve, so you don't have any debt left for New Year. Sadly, the debts shall remain and be our true blue friends for at least another year. Unless I win the lottery tonight and then I may be able to do it.
THE DIRECTION OF THE WIND: The direction of wind during sunrise on New Year morning prophesies about the coming year. Wind from south foretells fine weather and prosperous times ahead while wind from north foretells bad weather. Wind blowing from east foretells natural calamities and wind from west foretells plenty of milk and fish for all but death of a person of great national importance. No wind means joy and prosperity throughout the year. Whatever, I’m not getting up at sunrise after welcoming in the New Year. I’ll just wait and hear it on the news.
DANCE IN THE OPEN AIR: To dance in the open air, especially round a tree, on New Year's Day ensures luck in love and prosperity and freedom from ill health during the coming twelve months. The neighbors ought to love that. Drive by my house tomorrow, I will be putting on my boogie shoes and getting down with my bad self right next to the snowmen. Get down, get down, get down…
DRAIN THE BOTTLE: You could ensure yourself good fortune by draining the last dregs from a bottle of drink on New Years! I will buy my bottle of Smirnoff, chug all but a swallow and then drink my backwash right after midnight. Yum-mee!
Given here are some of the most astonishing and popular New Year Superstitions:
KISS AT MIDNIGHT: We kiss those dearest to us at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but also to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next 12 months. To fail to smooch our significant others at the stroke of twelve would be to set the stage for a year of coldness. Okay, this is interesting. So kissing random strangers up in the bar does what? According to this, be un-cold to several people you barely know. Woo hoo…good times! I will of course kiss those nearest and dearest to me provided I don’t have to go looking for him as I did last time.
FIRST FOOTING: One must never leave the home before someone comes in first. First footer in the house should be ushered in with a warm welcome, be tall, dark and handsome and should not have flat feet, cross-eyes or eyebrows stretching out to meet in the middle. It would be even better if he came bearing certain small gifts such as a lump of coal, a silver coin, a bit of bread, a sprig of evergreen and some salt. Blonde and redhead first footer bring bad luch and female first footers should be shooed away before they bring disaster down on the household. Aim a gun at them if you have to, but don’t let them near your door before a man crosses the threshold. After the first footer greets everyone in the house and dropped off his gifts, he should make his way through the house and leave by a different door then he came in. I have a husband and a future son-in-law I will rent you cheap! I need to make sure though that Sara’s tweezed RJ’s uni-brow recently. I don’t really know any blondes, coz the blondes I thought I knew are actually brunettes. As for women, there’s only Sara, and maybe Allyson who would actually come over, but my girls are smart and like their sleep, so they’ll stay to the house.
FOOD: In Southern part of the United States it is said that eating of black-eyed peas on New Year's Day will attract both general good luck and money in particular to the one doing the dining. Other lucky foods are lentil soup (coz they look like coins) and pork-because poultry scratches backwards, a cow stands still and pigs root forward. Greens are also considered lucky. Got to get the peas, I already have a ham and collard greens and there will no eating of poultry in my house tomorrow. I forbid it! I wonder what will happen if you eat cake, coz cake is made with eggs…I don’t think I’ll risk it. It has really been an awful year except for one or two little happy moments.
DON’T LET MONEY LEAVE THE HOUSE: In several countries, people do not let money, jewelry, precious items or other invaluable things leave home on New Year Day. Hence it is said that one should not pay loans and bills or lend things to anybody. No chance of that….we should have a really good year~
NOTHING GOES OUT: People go to the extent of not taking out garbage or even not dusting their carpets on this day to ensure that nothing goes out of home during the year. If you have to deliver presents on New Year morning, it is advised to leave them in the car.. In case you must take something out from the home, let someone come with the present inside the house first. Note to self: take trash to the road tonight. Do I have any presents that need to be delivered? Hmmm, I don’t think so, Tim. Just some books for Sebastian, but I can drop those off Saturday.
DO NOT WASH DISHES OR DO LAUNDRY: In several societies washing dishes and doing laundry on New Year's day is said to lead to a death in the family during the year. Many people do not even wash hair on New Year’s Day. Yay, an authorized day off by the pagan heathens of the past. There will be no washing tomorrow…none, I tell you!
WEAR NEW CLOTHES: People believe that one should wear new clothes on a New Year's Day. This would mean receiving more new garments during the year. Red clothing is preferred for New Year’s Day since red is considered a happy color and is sure to attract the wearer to a brighter future. I can wear my new zebra shirt…so much easier to blend in that way LOL—wait it’s not red. Perhaps, I’ll go buy red drawers…yep, that’s what I’ll do. A red, sparkly thong…my sister, cousins, children and son-in-laws just cringed…good times!
AVOID CRYING: It is said that one should avoid breaking things or crying and wailing on the first day of the year, if you don't want to continue the pattern for the entire year. I don’t cry as a rule, so this one should be easy. I wonder if it’s okay to be pissy. Coz I can be pissy if I try…yes, don’t shake your head, I can get quite pissy when I am provoked.
BE POLITE: People say that one should behave nicely on New Year and must refrain from using foul language. Toughie…maybe everyone should leave the house and let me be alone tomorrow and I shouldn’t play Coffee Buzz. It will occasionally elicit the ‘f’ word out of me.
WATCH WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT: Ghost stories and conversations on death should also be avoided. I’m the ghost of Able Gable, leave the money on the table….
LETTING THE OLD YEAR OUT: At midnight, all the doors of the house must be opened to let the old year escape unimpeded. Let’s look at this for a moment…I live in 4 Seasons. I don’t believe it wise to open my doors at midnight. The neighborhood thugs might rob me and then money would leave the house, and I wouldn’t be polite, and someone might cry and I’ve seen some of those children…they ain’t pretty, so my whole year will be screwed. Maybe I’ll just make the Old Year a pallet in the corner with a lump of coal and a ham bone. He’ll be happy, I know he will.
STOCK UP CUPBOARDS AND WALLETS: It is believed that cupboards stocked up with food and wallets and purses full of money bring prosperity in New Year. Similarly, empty pockets or empty cupboards on New Years Eve portend a year of poverty. Pantry appears to be stocked, fridge is full and I need to go get some cash…I’m covered.
DO TOKEN AMOUNT OF WORK: It is said that one must do token amount of work on the New Year's Day. This is said to ensure advancement in career. But starting out a serious work project is unlucky on New Year’s Day. I'll get right on that
MAKE NOISE: People believe that Evil One and his attendants and servants hate din and loud noise. So, scare them away by being as loud in New Year celebrations as possible. Church bells are rung at midnight for the same reason. I can make some noise, especially if I have to go looking for Fodder at midnight. That ought to scare the Devil out of somebody…
DON’T KEEP DEBTS: Pay your bills and loans before New Year Eve, so you don't have any debt left for New Year. Sadly, the debts shall remain and be our true blue friends for at least another year. Unless I win the lottery tonight and then I may be able to do it.
THE DIRECTION OF THE WIND: The direction of wind during sunrise on New Year morning prophesies about the coming year. Wind from south foretells fine weather and prosperous times ahead while wind from north foretells bad weather. Wind blowing from east foretells natural calamities and wind from west foretells plenty of milk and fish for all but death of a person of great national importance. No wind means joy and prosperity throughout the year. Whatever, I’m not getting up at sunrise after welcoming in the New Year. I’ll just wait and hear it on the news.
DANCE IN THE OPEN AIR: To dance in the open air, especially round a tree, on New Year's Day ensures luck in love and prosperity and freedom from ill health during the coming twelve months. The neighbors ought to love that. Drive by my house tomorrow, I will be putting on my boogie shoes and getting down with my bad self right next to the snowmen. Get down, get down, get down…
DRAIN THE BOTTLE: You could ensure yourself good fortune by draining the last dregs from a bottle of drink on New Years! I will buy my bottle of Smirnoff, chug all but a swallow and then drink my backwash right after midnight. Yum-mee!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Topic of the Day-Gossip
It’s that time again…woo hoo! Time for my interpretation of quotes, both the inconsequential and the truly deep.
The topic of the day is gossip…always MY personal favorite of all things. I have a huge yen for privacy. My business is my quite simply my business. Let me give you a little background. In the house I grew up in, privacy was a HUGE issue. You didn’t discuss family business with anyone—that meant grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, best friends…no one. What you heard in our house, even if it was about grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, teachers, or best friends, you didn’t discuss it once you stepped outside the front door. In short, you kept shit to yourself. However, I married into a very OPEN family, which has on occasion been a challenge. The only one of my children who is as militantly private as I am is Sara. There’s nothing wrong with being open and sharing and what not, it’s just not me. Therefore, when I find out that Clarke-Douglas business is being bandied about town and learning that occasionally my doings are the topic of the day, it miffs me. Now I know some of you out there are saying “Bitch, you air your dirty laundry in your blogs all the time”. BUT that’s not really dirty laundry. That’s more like a towel you used once to dry your hands laundry, not underwear worn 3 days in a row laundry. And I NEVER use names, just obscure references…it’s kind of like Law & Order, the names have been changed to protect the guilty and any similarities to persons living or dead are purely intentional. So there…
Anyway, getting back to my quotes—they’re mostly about gossip, but gossip is just the voice of violated privacy, right?
1) What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb Basically, this means if you weren’t in the room giving directions and helpful critiques of the performance, you don’t know for a fact that Dick and Jane were doing the Posturpoedic Polka, even if one of them told you they were. Like Jane would actually do Dick…please, as if!
1) What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb Basically, this means if you weren’t in the room giving directions and helpful critiques of the performance, you don’t know for a fact that Dick and Jane were doing the Posturpoedic Polka, even if one of them told you they were. Like Jane would actually do Dick…please, as if!
2) What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away. ~Chinese Proverb I don’t know about that, but I do know that it can be heard across town…or down the street…or in the neighbor’s yard
3) No one gossips about other people's secret virtues. ~Bertrand Arthur William Russell, On Education, 1926 Now, I don’t know about that…a virtue is by definition any praiseworthy quality or trait, so if you’re whispering that someone is a devoted secret drinker, or a dedicated home-wrecking whore, or even a thoroughly sincere hypocritical twat, you are indeed talking about SECRET virtues.
4) If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. ~Kahlil Gibran, Sand and Foam That means when you’re screaming on the Nextel in the grocery aisle at Walmart or yelling at your man in the middle of a polite get together with friends and 400 strangers, don’t be surprised if it comes back to haunt you a skoosh.
5) When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars. ~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911 How are you, Sharon? How’s your sister? Still crazy? How’s your Mom? Is her health any better? How’s Katelyn? How are the grandbabies? How are Sara and RJ? Any news about what happened? My standard answers are “fine, fine, no, fine, yep, fine, beautiful, fine, no”—my actual, yet never uttered responses are as follows “like you care, you don’t know her so its not really relevant to you is it, like you’re one to talk, call her and ask her yourself, no she treats her body like a honky tonk but she’s grown, not pregnant, gorgeous beautiful brilliant heathens who I adore to the depth of my soul, I never see them so I’m presuming they’re good, none of your God-damned business you nosy bitch”. This is of course only said in my head in answer to people who don’t know or love me and mine and could give a shit how we are. They just want to hear bad news and woe and crap. Sorry, seek that shit down the road.
6) The easiest way to keep a secret is without help. ~Author Unknown But when you have help keeping your secrets? Good Lord, save me from myself! They’ll either use those secrets to their own advantage or, well...that’s the only reason I can think of. Blackmail, personal gain, shock value or just good ol’ plain entertainment.
7) Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~Spanish Proverb Gossip is like adultery…if she’ll do it with you, she’ll do it to you. It bites the ass, but there you have it. And you know what? Then that person will turn around and tell everyone how it was all you, she never intended to do that, you led her into it, it was an accident, it just happened…hmmm, yep, I’m still talking about gossip, had to check. LOL, funny, I never thought of how closely they corresponded to each other.
8) Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around. ~Frank A. Clark Shall we begin? Or should we just take it on faith that you don’t really want to see my warts on the off chance I’ll start pointing out yours?
9) It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people's business. ~Dolley Madison I really truly don’t want to know of other peoples misfortunes or smut or mistakes. I don’t want to hear about folks having money troubles, when someone’s girlfriend switches teams, or playing wake and bake in the morning before driving to work. I really truly only want to see people in the light I want to be seen in. I like knowing about babies, or making the honor roll, or a funny story about a slip of the tongue as long as no one was horribly embarrassed to the point of social phobia. That’s what I want to hear…okay, I admit I like to hear about certain people falling and busting their asses in public, but that’s just a newsflash, not gossip. There’s a difference.
10)To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends. ~Benjamin Franklin And believe me, no matter how tight you and your bff are, give her half a chance and she will tell your business and talk about you like you never shared a late night bull session discussing whether or not size matters and who has the better flip-flops.
11) It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper. ~Errol Flynn Out loud- “She’s a nice person and has such a great smile” then whispered right after “too bad she’s such a slut and the sound of her voice makes my skin want to peel off”. Alrighty then…And why do they whisper? They obviously want to share. Its easier to share with more people if you’re really loud, which is what I aspire to be. Ah, dreams.
12) There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us. ~F.H. Bradley, Aphorisms Bored, bored, bored…but that’s just me. Obviously, I am one fascinating human being and provide hours of quality entertainment for the micro-brained
13) Who brings a tale takes two away. ~Irish Proverb This is so true…I am always very careful when I’m listening to someone run someone else into the ground to make sure I don’t contribute to the pot of goo they are spewing. Nothing makes me more angry than to hear a perfectly innocent remark that I made like “I didn’t know he got new shoes” preceded by the dreaded words “well, Sharon said”. I say I didn’t know he got new shoes and it turns into “well, Sharon said that he didn’t tell her he was going shopping and then he came back with new shoes, which they couldn’t afford, she can’t remember the last time she got anything new, but he didn’t ask her about it and who is she that he has to answer to her and she’s really become a ball-breaking bitch and poor…what? I don’t know where they were when he told her, probably the bar, well, Sharon said he’d been hanging out without her a lot here lately, she probably thinks he’s running around, but who knows…”
14) Men have always detested women's gossip because they suspect the truth: Their measurements are being taken and compared. ~Erica Jong That’s right, men, we are comparing and contrasting and exaggerating to beat the band so it’s in your best interest to stay on our good side so that we’ll lie on the positive side, turning you into an insatiable breath-taking circus freak who brings us breakfast in bed.
15) The best way to keep one's word is not to give it. ~Napoleon I, Maxims This one is very simple, but so you know how many lives have been shoved down the craphole by the words “you can tell me, I promise I won’t tell anyone else, ever? One or 3, I’m sure.
16) The biggest liar in the world is They Say. ~Douglas Malloch I believe this person lives in Okeechobee and may be related to me. I just want to know who they are, coz I would like to have a conversation and maybe kick they ass.
17) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. ~Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack, July 1735 My favorite of all quotes because it is so true unless you have 3 or more people living in your head and then one of those crazy bitches will slip and tell the world all your crap, usually in a blackout blog that she doesn’t remember writing, or in a cozy tete-a-tete in a restaurant hallway or by the ever so casual, on-purpose slip of the tongue. I can’t take #3 anywhere, big-mouthed huzz that she is!
18) There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true. ~Winston Churchill Every person reading this has a truth dipped in lies and covered up with sparkles to keep others from knowing the total truth about something. Right now, I can think of 3 things I wouldn’t want anyone other than me to know. What about you? It’s not that they’re illegal, immoral, or just bad…doesn’t really matter. To me they’re just something I don’t want anyone to know. Maybe someone shoplifted tampons. Maybe a guy looked at another man’s ass and said “dammit, man”. Or maybe you just want to kick the blind kid in line in front of you just because he always gets to be first. Not the coolest things to admit, but they’re real and true and worse than some of the baddest lies you can tell.
I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth; but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody. ~Benjamin Franklin
This is what I aspire to
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Completely Random Thoughts
Thoughts brought on by the futility of it all…
1) When is too much?
2) How do you just stop being a parent? Especially when babies are involved?
3) Am I not seeing things clearly? All these people that claim to be family are only really family at Christmas and funerals…I think I am going to have to call bullshit on that and realize that my family consists of those I was born to, lived with and gave birth to. I will exclude Janine from that as she is the bomb.
4) My new contacts prescription sucks. I need reading glasses for everything now.
5) I relax when I hold babies, come to work or hug people I love. Otherwise, my shoulders are up under my damn ears, I’m so tense. And does anyone care? No, no, no…as long as I do my chores and mind my p’s & q’s. Feels like I’m a child living at home again. Ah, the irony.
6) I give the eff up
7) So my life isn’t interesting? Try living it.
8) My New Year’s Resolution- the most important one is to exercise daily. Gym, here I come, masses be warned.
9) 30 days til I see my sister again. Hopefully, I will be able to do more than bully her into drinking water and walk down the hallway.
10) Next Christmas…I’m spending on the couch, cuddled up and watching movies and that’s it. No Christmas Eve party, no Christmas day get together, I mean it. When you no longer think of Christmas as a happy time, but rather a day to dread that has lost all the spirit and true meaning of the Season, I say move on. Bah, effing humbug!
11) This cough is exhausting and so painful. Perhaps it pneumonia…
12) Gabriella Eryn Shea Villarreal, that’s a mouthful no matter who you are. Gabby is great for a quick holler.
13) I don’t know if Lili will like Gabby or not. I’m thinking not.
14) I need a tattoo with my children and grandchildren’s names on it
15) I’m tired and I want to nut up, but I don’t have the time or money to do it and who would care anyway?
1) When is too much?
2) How do you just stop being a parent? Especially when babies are involved?
3) Am I not seeing things clearly? All these people that claim to be family are only really family at Christmas and funerals…I think I am going to have to call bullshit on that and realize that my family consists of those I was born to, lived with and gave birth to. I will exclude Janine from that as she is the bomb.
4) My new contacts prescription sucks. I need reading glasses for everything now.
5) I relax when I hold babies, come to work or hug people I love. Otherwise, my shoulders are up under my damn ears, I’m so tense. And does anyone care? No, no, no…as long as I do my chores and mind my p’s & q’s. Feels like I’m a child living at home again. Ah, the irony.
6) I give the eff up
7) So my life isn’t interesting? Try living it.
8) My New Year’s Resolution- the most important one is to exercise daily. Gym, here I come, masses be warned.
9) 30 days til I see my sister again. Hopefully, I will be able to do more than bully her into drinking water and walk down the hallway.
10) Next Christmas…I’m spending on the couch, cuddled up and watching movies and that’s it. No Christmas Eve party, no Christmas day get together, I mean it. When you no longer think of Christmas as a happy time, but rather a day to dread that has lost all the spirit and true meaning of the Season, I say move on. Bah, effing humbug!
11) This cough is exhausting and so painful. Perhaps it pneumonia…
12) Gabriella Eryn Shea Villarreal, that’s a mouthful no matter who you are. Gabby is great for a quick holler.
13) I don’t know if Lili will like Gabby or not. I’m thinking not.
14) I need a tattoo with my children and grandchildren’s names on it
15) I’m tired and I want to nut up, but I don’t have the time or money to do it and who would care anyway?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Top Ten #1
Do I only blog when I’m unhappy? Do I only have interesting things to say when my little apple cart has been upset, or when I’m embroiled in a middle school psycho drama that is not of my own or on the odd occasion when my good intentions have been misunderstood as disrespectful and predatory? Hmmmm…
Therefore, once a week, I am going to do a "Top 10 Reasons My Life Doesn’t Suck" list. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
1. My family is mostly healthy and they are all beautiful except for that third cousin twice removed living in the Louisiana swamp on a pontoon boat slash modified half-wide with his baby mama and her mouth-breathing boyfriend. He’s not too cute, but he does the best he can with a lazy eye and his striking resemblance to a weiner dog.
2. No one close to me, including me, has been arrested this week.
3. I didn’t die in a fiery plane crash when I went to visit my sister.
4. I lost 7 pounds when I visited my sister. Visiting her is the best diet in the world. Even when she’s healthy, she won’t feed me. They eat a lot of noodles and cereal at her house and I just can’t do it. It’s sad how hungry I get at the home of someone who loves me so much, but hey, my jeans fit better when I get home.
5. My bills are mostly paid.
6. Belle (the granddog) is soooo thrilled with my being home, it’s hysterical. Every time I walk in the room, she dances around on her hind legs and barks.
7. Roddy and I both have jobs and don’t currently hate them.
8. I know I am loved…it may not be said often or directly, but I know it for a fact and that’s all that matters.
9. I didn’t freeze off any necessary body parts while I was in Kansas.
10. I am the proud possessor of at least 150 snowman themed Christmas items…that rocks….right? Or is that as lame and sad as I think it is?
Looking back over this list is semi-depressing. I am lucky and blessed and I know it!
1) Got to see my friend Mindy after 28 years…wow! She is amazing and funny and gorgeous (you know you are, quit shaking your head). Too cool!!!!
2) Baby to be born soon, little Miss Rylee, didn’t have to be induced after all, but gets to stay in her warm comfy waterbed for at least another week.
3) Sara George got a 92 on her Marine Biology final…she rocks like Van Halen.
4) Grady can say "I love you, Nanny"—that’s super dee duper dee.
Therefore, once a week, I am going to do a "Top 10 Reasons My Life Doesn’t Suck" list. Doesn’t that sound like fun?
1. My family is mostly healthy and they are all beautiful except for that third cousin twice removed living in the Louisiana swamp on a pontoon boat slash modified half-wide with his baby mama and her mouth-breathing boyfriend. He’s not too cute, but he does the best he can with a lazy eye and his striking resemblance to a weiner dog.
2. No one close to me, including me, has been arrested this week.
3. I didn’t die in a fiery plane crash when I went to visit my sister.
4. I lost 7 pounds when I visited my sister. Visiting her is the best diet in the world. Even when she’s healthy, she won’t feed me. They eat a lot of noodles and cereal at her house and I just can’t do it. It’s sad how hungry I get at the home of someone who loves me so much, but hey, my jeans fit better when I get home.
5. My bills are mostly paid.
6. Belle (the granddog) is soooo thrilled with my being home, it’s hysterical. Every time I walk in the room, she dances around on her hind legs and barks.
7. Roddy and I both have jobs and don’t currently hate them.
8. I know I am loved…it may not be said often or directly, but I know it for a fact and that’s all that matters.
9. I didn’t freeze off any necessary body parts while I was in Kansas.
10. I am the proud possessor of at least 150 snowman themed Christmas items…that rocks….right? Or is that as lame and sad as I think it is?
Looking back over this list is semi-depressing. I am lucky and blessed and I know it!
1) Got to see my friend Mindy after 28 years…wow! She is amazing and funny and gorgeous (you know you are, quit shaking your head). Too cool!!!!
2) Baby to be born soon, little Miss Rylee, didn’t have to be induced after all, but gets to stay in her warm comfy waterbed for at least another week.
3) Sara George got a 92 on her Marine Biology final…she rocks like Van Halen.
4) Grady can say "I love you, Nanny"—that’s super dee duper dee.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Completely Random Thoughts- Part 9
Thoughts brought on by…who the Hell knows?
1) I hate my underwear
2) Forgot to de-puff my eyes this morning, I look like a inept prize fighter
3) Just tweezed my 3 errant eyebrows
4) Sometimes the power of the "vibe" amazes even me
5) I know that quite a few people find procedures and guidelines unnecessary and pointless, but for those of us who like structure, those things are like air and it pisses me the hell off when folks don’t follow the rules!!!!
6) Yeh, I know, life’s not fair…yada yada yada
7) My ear is so stuffed up; sounds like people are talking to me underwater and there’s a lot of static
8) Crotch jewelry…what’s the point? No one ever sees it and lace panties are not compatible
9) Poor Dee Dee, they make her life hell here. She should dot more people in the eye, in my opinion.
10) Really must attend more slumber parties…what a ball that was!
11) My ears are so sore.
12) Did not have time to do my hair this morning…lets just say it’s exhibiting its on personality today
13) Looking forward to Black Friday and Christmas shopping. Still don’t know what I’m getting Lili…something non-lethal to newborns is probably a good idea.
14) So only simple food today—oatmeal, salad, cottage cheese—maybe my stomach and ghost gall bladder will calm down then
15) 3 more things added to the "Sharon can’t eat it or she’ll feel like she’s dying" list—hot dogs, roasted marshmallows and anything fried. Sometimes the cure is worse than the illness, but I have to bite the bullet for the tummy’s sake. Being an old grown up sucks.
16) Roddy’s already making plans for running amok when I’m gone on vacation in January. I would worry, but he’s already tainted, so what’s a few more swabs of ick? LOL Just kidding, Fodder, I know it washes off…..
17) I guess salad is going to be disagreeable today as well—crap, I am SO tired of having a stomachache.
18) I wonder if eliminating my stress would help my stomach? Hmmm, point to ponder.
19) This day is passing so slowly…I guess the rest of the week will too. Holiday weeks are that way, aren’t they?
20) My frown won’t go upside down.
21) Sighing deeply isn’t helping today
22) Will it never be Friday?
23) Okay, beet salad….canned beets (yummy), hard-boiled eggs and mayo…is it just me or is this the most disgusting concoction known to man? The pink shade it turns is roughly the hue of Kaopectate…blech!!!!!!!!!! At least I get to bring something homemade for a change
24) Crystallized ginger is a lot harder to find than you would think
1) I hate my underwear
2) Forgot to de-puff my eyes this morning, I look like a inept prize fighter
3) Just tweezed my 3 errant eyebrows
4) Sometimes the power of the "vibe" amazes even me
5) I know that quite a few people find procedures and guidelines unnecessary and pointless, but for those of us who like structure, those things are like air and it pisses me the hell off when folks don’t follow the rules!!!!
6) Yeh, I know, life’s not fair…yada yada yada
7) My ear is so stuffed up; sounds like people are talking to me underwater and there’s a lot of static
8) Crotch jewelry…what’s the point? No one ever sees it and lace panties are not compatible
9) Poor Dee Dee, they make her life hell here. She should dot more people in the eye, in my opinion.
10) Really must attend more slumber parties…what a ball that was!
11) My ears are so sore.
12) Did not have time to do my hair this morning…lets just say it’s exhibiting its on personality today
13) Looking forward to Black Friday and Christmas shopping. Still don’t know what I’m getting Lili…something non-lethal to newborns is probably a good idea.
14) So only simple food today—oatmeal, salad, cottage cheese—maybe my stomach and ghost gall bladder will calm down then
15) 3 more things added to the "Sharon can’t eat it or she’ll feel like she’s dying" list—hot dogs, roasted marshmallows and anything fried. Sometimes the cure is worse than the illness, but I have to bite the bullet for the tummy’s sake. Being an old grown up sucks.
16) Roddy’s already making plans for running amok when I’m gone on vacation in January. I would worry, but he’s already tainted, so what’s a few more swabs of ick? LOL Just kidding, Fodder, I know it washes off…..
17) I guess salad is going to be disagreeable today as well—crap, I am SO tired of having a stomachache.
18) I wonder if eliminating my stress would help my stomach? Hmmm, point to ponder.
19) This day is passing so slowly…I guess the rest of the week will too. Holiday weeks are that way, aren’t they?
20) My frown won’t go upside down.
21) Sighing deeply isn’t helping today
22) Will it never be Friday?
23) Okay, beet salad….canned beets (yummy), hard-boiled eggs and mayo…is it just me or is this the most disgusting concoction known to man? The pink shade it turns is roughly the hue of Kaopectate…blech!!!!!!!!!! At least I get to bring something homemade for a change
24) Crystallized ginger is a lot harder to find than you would think
Country Music-My Take
Country Music Songs- Just My Take
I love country music…grew up on, breathe it, eat it, love the heck out of it. I enjoy other music too, but my musical roots are country. Occasionally, however, the message of the song makes me do a double take and say "what the….!". Lets take a look at my favorite ones…
1. Whoever’s in New England (by Reba McEntire)- "When whoever’s in New England’s through with you and Boston finds better things to do, you know it’s not too late and you’ll always have a place to come back to"…. I don’t think so, Sir! When that frigid Yankee skank is done with you, don’t be bringing your nappy ass home to me…as if!
2. Just To Hear You Say That You Love Me (by Faith and Tim) –Okay, can we say codependent? They have drugs to help with that now. I mean, if I have to jump through hoops, rope moons, or turn my head so much that sucker’s swiveling like a gyroscope just so that can I hear some undeserving yahoo say "I love you", then I need someone to kick me in the ass.
3. Stay (by Sugarland)—Do I even need to say it? "You keep saying that there will come a time, you will leave her arms and forever be in mine, but I don’t think that’s the truth and I don’t like being used and I’m tired of waiting" She is doing the Posturpedic Polka with another woman’s husband and seems confused that he would lie to her…HELLO! Fortunately, she comes to her senses at the end, but I feel she is missing the point…"it’s too much pain to have to bear, to love a man you have to share"—you’re not sharing, you homewrecking ho, you are stealing, big difference. It’s only sharing if everybody knows what’s going on.
4. Now I Know (Lari White)—"I always wondered how’d I live without you if you ever said goodbye"…I know, I know (raising my hand) oooo, maybe get a life of your own? Staggering, I know, but others have done it and survived.
That’s all for now, just had to vent on it a little. Warning: this week will not be cheery and upbeat…the holidays wreak havoc on me. But stay tuned for the ever escalating doom, gloom and bad will towards all and to a few in particular.
I love country music…grew up on, breathe it, eat it, love the heck out of it. I enjoy other music too, but my musical roots are country. Occasionally, however, the message of the song makes me do a double take and say "what the….!". Lets take a look at my favorite ones…
1. Whoever’s in New England (by Reba McEntire)- "When whoever’s in New England’s through with you and Boston finds better things to do, you know it’s not too late and you’ll always have a place to come back to"…. I don’t think so, Sir! When that frigid Yankee skank is done with you, don’t be bringing your nappy ass home to me…as if!
2. Just To Hear You Say That You Love Me (by Faith and Tim) –Okay, can we say codependent? They have drugs to help with that now. I mean, if I have to jump through hoops, rope moons, or turn my head so much that sucker’s swiveling like a gyroscope just so that can I hear some undeserving yahoo say "I love you", then I need someone to kick me in the ass.
3. Stay (by Sugarland)—Do I even need to say it? "You keep saying that there will come a time, you will leave her arms and forever be in mine, but I don’t think that’s the truth and I don’t like being used and I’m tired of waiting" She is doing the Posturpedic Polka with another woman’s husband and seems confused that he would lie to her…HELLO! Fortunately, she comes to her senses at the end, but I feel she is missing the point…"it’s too much pain to have to bear, to love a man you have to share"—you’re not sharing, you homewrecking ho, you are stealing, big difference. It’s only sharing if everybody knows what’s going on.
4. Now I Know (Lari White)—"I always wondered how’d I live without you if you ever said goodbye"…I know, I know (raising my hand) oooo, maybe get a life of your own? Staggering, I know, but others have done it and survived.
That’s all for now, just had to vent on it a little. Warning: this week will not be cheery and upbeat…the holidays wreak havoc on me. But stay tuned for the ever escalating doom, gloom and bad will towards all and to a few in particular.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Completely Random Thoughts - Part 8
Thoughts brought on by songs on my computer
1) Just thinking that its funny how I have all the resolve and self-control anyone in the world would ever need, but one song can make me lose all of my home-training with the thoughts it brings to fore and the reactions to the thoughts…sigh, Donny Osmond, what a trouble-maker
2) I’m in a place I never thought I’d be
3) Dee Dee went home sick and took her funk with her, thank God. I can absolutely not afford to catch anything, literally.
4) I must go home and cook dinner tonite, people are starving (or at least a little tired of leftovers)
5) My little man is growing like a weed. He looks like Katelyn at that age, all arms and legs, tall as a tree. There is absolutely no baby fat on him at all.
6) If I keep calling Lili ‘Princess’, will she grow up a conceited mess? I don’t think so, I just think she’ll believe she’s all that and a bag of chips…as she should.
7) 64 days til I see my sister….Yay! Happy, happy day! This time I have a whole 8 ½ days with her which includes two weekends. That is so awesome, you can’t believe it. Wonder what we’ll do? She’ll probably sleep a lot, like always, I’ll cook a lot, like always, and we’ll chill. Maybe see a movie, maybe go to the ½ price bookstore (LOVE that place), maybe go to the scrapbook store (no, say it ain’t so), we might even scrapbook a little. Oooo, maybe antique shopping in Weston, or go to Central and get a new sweatshirt….oh, the possibilities.
8) Fairly cold at the moment
9) Someone IS touching the pudgy Pilgrim people. Does no one remember the rule? DO NOT TOUCH SHARON’S CRAP….EVER! Stupid heads, just wait until I catch who’s doing it, I’ll hand him his ass in a shovel.
10) Kissing you was not what I had planned…Jack Wagner, how I love thee!
11) Drinking diet Mountain Dew makes my eyes go all funky.
12) Working on a couple of dialogues in my head. Perfecting the delivery and all that is important, you know.
13) Waking up at 5:55 when you have to leave for work at 6 a.m. is not conducive to good hair
14) Still can’t decide what to take to the Thanksgiving get together. Doesn’t really matter anyway, no one’s going to eat it. Maybe I should just take rolls and sodas and count myself lucky.
15) Who would eat Kraft mac & cheese when they can have homemade?
16) I wish the construction business would pick up soon; its starting to worry me
17) I’ll be glad when they finish my floor, I need to bake
18) Just ate some more chicken so I should be laying eggs soon
19) Butterscotch coffee, does that sound good? It did at first, but now it just seems icky.
20) When I finally have an empty nest, I am going to sit on the floor in my bikini with socks on and alternately cry and laugh hysterically.
21) If your frequency is already infrequent, what happens when that becomes sporadic as well? Do you bite the bullet and just call it non-existent.
22) Making spaghetti and salad for dinner tonight
23) Just for fun, think of movie titles (or song titles) and replace one of the words with the word "booty". It’s hysterical and a great way to pass the time when you’re driving or working…ooops, I mean with time on your hands. Example—Another One Bites the Booty (lol) or A Few Good Booties …soooooo much fun
24) My wooden shelf fell off the wall last nite and a lot of my treasures got broken. I am so sad about it, but there’s no one to blame. Most of them are so smushed that they can’t even be glued back together.
25) Here come the holidays…ready to wrap, bake, fuss and fume.
26) If I could have sweet tea run intravenously, I would.
27) People who are educated beyond their intelligence frustrate me
28) The weather must be a-changing; my elbow feels stiff
29) I need a Coke and a smile
30) I hate it when people call me ‘honey’- do I look like an enormous pile of bee shit? How hard it is to say miss, or ma’am or even (gasps!) Sharon?
31) Do grown women have stuffed bunnies in their bedrooms?
32) If I only worked a couple of hours a day, I’d probably have a tidier house, cook dinner more often and would have conquered Laundry Mountain…or I’d just have grandbabies at the house all the time and run amok with them
33) OMG, b.o.! How hard is it to wash your pits, people?
34) How do you ‘break it’ to someone gently?
35) I should do a mud mask—I don’t feel glow-y right today
1) Just thinking that its funny how I have all the resolve and self-control anyone in the world would ever need, but one song can make me lose all of my home-training with the thoughts it brings to fore and the reactions to the thoughts…sigh, Donny Osmond, what a trouble-maker
2) I’m in a place I never thought I’d be
3) Dee Dee went home sick and took her funk with her, thank God. I can absolutely not afford to catch anything, literally.
4) I must go home and cook dinner tonite, people are starving (or at least a little tired of leftovers)
5) My little man is growing like a weed. He looks like Katelyn at that age, all arms and legs, tall as a tree. There is absolutely no baby fat on him at all.
6) If I keep calling Lili ‘Princess’, will she grow up a conceited mess? I don’t think so, I just think she’ll believe she’s all that and a bag of chips…as she should.
7) 64 days til I see my sister….Yay! Happy, happy day! This time I have a whole 8 ½ days with her which includes two weekends. That is so awesome, you can’t believe it. Wonder what we’ll do? She’ll probably sleep a lot, like always, I’ll cook a lot, like always, and we’ll chill. Maybe see a movie, maybe go to the ½ price bookstore (LOVE that place), maybe go to the scrapbook store (no, say it ain’t so), we might even scrapbook a little. Oooo, maybe antique shopping in Weston, or go to Central and get a new sweatshirt….oh, the possibilities.
8) Fairly cold at the moment
9) Someone IS touching the pudgy Pilgrim people. Does no one remember the rule? DO NOT TOUCH SHARON’S CRAP….EVER! Stupid heads, just wait until I catch who’s doing it, I’ll hand him his ass in a shovel.
10) Kissing you was not what I had planned…Jack Wagner, how I love thee!
11) Drinking diet Mountain Dew makes my eyes go all funky.
12) Working on a couple of dialogues in my head. Perfecting the delivery and all that is important, you know.
13) Waking up at 5:55 when you have to leave for work at 6 a.m. is not conducive to good hair
14) Still can’t decide what to take to the Thanksgiving get together. Doesn’t really matter anyway, no one’s going to eat it. Maybe I should just take rolls and sodas and count myself lucky.
15) Who would eat Kraft mac & cheese when they can have homemade?
16) I wish the construction business would pick up soon; its starting to worry me
17) I’ll be glad when they finish my floor, I need to bake
18) Just ate some more chicken so I should be laying eggs soon
19) Butterscotch coffee, does that sound good? It did at first, but now it just seems icky.
20) When I finally have an empty nest, I am going to sit on the floor in my bikini with socks on and alternately cry and laugh hysterically.
21) If your frequency is already infrequent, what happens when that becomes sporadic as well? Do you bite the bullet and just call it non-existent.
22) Making spaghetti and salad for dinner tonight
23) Just for fun, think of movie titles (or song titles) and replace one of the words with the word "booty". It’s hysterical and a great way to pass the time when you’re driving or working…ooops, I mean with time on your hands. Example—Another One Bites the Booty (lol) or A Few Good Booties …soooooo much fun
24) My wooden shelf fell off the wall last nite and a lot of my treasures got broken. I am so sad about it, but there’s no one to blame. Most of them are so smushed that they can’t even be glued back together.
25) Here come the holidays…ready to wrap, bake, fuss and fume.
26) If I could have sweet tea run intravenously, I would.
27) People who are educated beyond their intelligence frustrate me
28) The weather must be a-changing; my elbow feels stiff
29) I need a Coke and a smile
30) I hate it when people call me ‘honey’- do I look like an enormous pile of bee shit? How hard it is to say miss, or ma’am or even (gasps!) Sharon?
31) Do grown women have stuffed bunnies in their bedrooms?
32) If I only worked a couple of hours a day, I’d probably have a tidier house, cook dinner more often and would have conquered Laundry Mountain…or I’d just have grandbabies at the house all the time and run amok with them
33) OMG, b.o.! How hard is it to wash your pits, people?
34) How do you ‘break it’ to someone gently?
35) I should do a mud mask—I don’t feel glow-y right today
Completely Random Thoughts - Part 7
Thoughts brought on by the sight and/or mention of tattoos
1) I need Botox, microdermabrasion and everything lifted
2) Age is only a number—maybe, but a really high number that just keeps getting higher
3) I hate it when I make good decisions in my head but lack the wherewithal to carry them out
4) Much as I love quality time with myself, I would settle for quantity here lately
5) Occasionally its just not enough
6) The hair is weird today. I think it prefers the flat iron
7) I want to be around grown-up folks
8) I feel all achy and nauseous and LOST today—hormones, gotta love ‘em
9) Spiraling, spiraling down to the deep dark black
10) I am going to hit Leslie in the mouth with my fist
11) I don’t understand grown women who want to dress alike, get the same haircut, etc. I haven’t wanted to match anyone since I was 7 years old and my best friend got a new pair of saddle oxfords
12) The longer I fight it, the harder its going to be
13) I brought chili for lunch yesterday and I have beans today…poor Dee Dee
14) I need a 5 hour energy drink or three
15) Apparently, the more polite I become, the more frightening I am
16) I used the "f" word and the "c" word together, I’m going to hell (but I was provoked)
17) I am so tired of waiting for my star to fall, I could cry
18) Early mornings are so tiresome
19) Finished all of the Twilight books, sigh, I love vampire books
20) I love the way my hair gets all full and bushy when its cold
21) Yippee ki aaaaaa, Cow Patty , I can’t believe the things that used to pass as music back in the day. Examples—Short People, Cheeseburger in Paradise, and the forever tragic Disco Duck.
22) It’s chilly in south Florida today…48 degrees and sunny. There is actually a severe weather alert for us, with a wind chill advisory and a fire weather alert. The wind chill drops the temp down to 43…be still, my frozen heart.
23) Would two non-snugglers snuggle if it got really cold?
24) Chicken and stuffing for dinner tonight, yummy, perhaps with a green bean or 2
25) Got to go see the babies after work, apparently Lili has a toe issue and Katelyn can’t figure out what’s wrong
26) All I want for Christmas is an external hard drive or a digital camera since mine was stolen. That’s all I want…
27) Beans and rice, beans and rice, once or twice or maybe thrice, beans and rice is nice…. Schoolhouse Rock, circa 1976
28) I think someone is playing with the portly Pilgrim people when I’m not at my desk
29) I want to win the lottery so I can have a day off
30) Little glimpses into someone else’s life are refreshing, educational and a little disturbing sometimes
31) No one wants to believe that they are responsible for specific negative outcomes, but if the flip-flop fits, wear it
32) Speaking of flip-flops, there’s a new thing out called a Fit Flop and I want it
33) My penny loafers just broke, time to sew them up
34) I wonder….
35) I’ll be better when I’m older
36) Grady has to have his tonsils out, poor little man
37) I need to remember to layer, coz I’m wearing a sweater and its making me hotter than a $2 ho-ah.
38) I need to buy batteries; none of my things have a charge
39) I feel the need for khaki pants and perhaps a skirt. Feeling very preppy today.
40) Button, button, button—what a good idea
41) I’ve been sneezing for the last 15 minutes; perhaps I have a cold
42) Not looking forward to next week
43) Gonna try to do the Black Friday shopping thing next Friday morning. Haven’t been in years, but Mama (that would be me) needs a new digi camera
44) I think Lili needs a baby stroller for Christmas and some BIG pink Legos—is that gender typing or just good gifts?
45) Can’t wait until I can get in the kitchen and start doing my Christmas cookie thing
46) Got to remember to start collecting addresses for my Christmas cards
47) Should I send a card to the same people I sent one last year? LOL, I don’t think some people appreciated my crafty efforts…but I guess you’ll have that from time to time.
1) I need Botox, microdermabrasion and everything lifted
2) Age is only a number—maybe, but a really high number that just keeps getting higher
3) I hate it when I make good decisions in my head but lack the wherewithal to carry them out
4) Much as I love quality time with myself, I would settle for quantity here lately
5) Occasionally its just not enough
6) The hair is weird today. I think it prefers the flat iron
7) I want to be around grown-up folks
8) I feel all achy and nauseous and LOST today—hormones, gotta love ‘em
9) Spiraling, spiraling down to the deep dark black
10) I am going to hit Leslie in the mouth with my fist
11) I don’t understand grown women who want to dress alike, get the same haircut, etc. I haven’t wanted to match anyone since I was 7 years old and my best friend got a new pair of saddle oxfords
12) The longer I fight it, the harder its going to be
13) I brought chili for lunch yesterday and I have beans today…poor Dee Dee
14) I need a 5 hour energy drink or three
15) Apparently, the more polite I become, the more frightening I am
16) I used the "f" word and the "c" word together, I’m going to hell (but I was provoked)
17) I am so tired of waiting for my star to fall, I could cry
18) Early mornings are so tiresome
19) Finished all of the Twilight books, sigh, I love vampire books
20) I love the way my hair gets all full and bushy when its cold
21) Yippee ki aaaaaa, Cow Patty , I can’t believe the things that used to pass as music back in the day. Examples—Short People, Cheeseburger in Paradise, and the forever tragic Disco Duck.
22) It’s chilly in south Florida today…48 degrees and sunny. There is actually a severe weather alert for us, with a wind chill advisory and a fire weather alert. The wind chill drops the temp down to 43…be still, my frozen heart.
23) Would two non-snugglers snuggle if it got really cold?
24) Chicken and stuffing for dinner tonight, yummy, perhaps with a green bean or 2
25) Got to go see the babies after work, apparently Lili has a toe issue and Katelyn can’t figure out what’s wrong
26) All I want for Christmas is an external hard drive or a digital camera since mine was stolen. That’s all I want…
27) Beans and rice, beans and rice, once or twice or maybe thrice, beans and rice is nice…. Schoolhouse Rock, circa 1976
28) I think someone is playing with the portly Pilgrim people when I’m not at my desk
29) I want to win the lottery so I can have a day off
30) Little glimpses into someone else’s life are refreshing, educational and a little disturbing sometimes
31) No one wants to believe that they are responsible for specific negative outcomes, but if the flip-flop fits, wear it
32) Speaking of flip-flops, there’s a new thing out called a Fit Flop and I want it
33) My penny loafers just broke, time to sew them up
34) I wonder….
35) I’ll be better when I’m older
36) Grady has to have his tonsils out, poor little man
37) I need to remember to layer, coz I’m wearing a sweater and its making me hotter than a $2 ho-ah.
38) I need to buy batteries; none of my things have a charge
39) I feel the need for khaki pants and perhaps a skirt. Feeling very preppy today.
40) Button, button, button—what a good idea
41) I’ve been sneezing for the last 15 minutes; perhaps I have a cold
42) Not looking forward to next week
43) Gonna try to do the Black Friday shopping thing next Friday morning. Haven’t been in years, but Mama (that would be me) needs a new digi camera
44) I think Lili needs a baby stroller for Christmas and some BIG pink Legos—is that gender typing or just good gifts?
45) Can’t wait until I can get in the kitchen and start doing my Christmas cookie thing
46) Got to remember to start collecting addresses for my Christmas cards
47) Should I send a card to the same people I sent one last year? LOL, I don’t think some people appreciated my crafty efforts…but I guess you’ll have that from time to time.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Completely Random Thoughts- Part 6
All because Roddy said "catch ‘em"
1) I don’t think Fodder realizes how hard I work at holding back
2) Confession is good for the soul, but it’s not too good for the nose
3) Cramps hurt…damn apple
4) All my jibes and innuendo are supposed to be non-specific, but how many two-timing, home-wrecking whores do I know?
5) When I’m bad, I’m very, very bad, but when I’m good, I’m BORING
6) Flip flops are funny things…
7) I wonder how many lives are ruined in the pursuit of mediocre ass?
8) Men choose their partners for many reasons—beautiful eyes, heart-shaped ass, sparkling personality. I wonder what its like to realize you were picked because you reek of crazy?
9) When you clear your conscience at someone else’s expense, does it really do you any good?
10) HATE my hair today
11) Eating oatmeal is so good for my tummy—all warm and non-wheat related
12) Playing nice is great for children who like playing games…but I’m grown, so what are the benefits to me?
13) To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time for every purpose under Heaven J
14) I swear, the weather starts getting a little cool and all the fellas try to grow a beard and beards are like being bald…not everyone has the head for it.
15) I need to buy stock in Perdue, I eat so much damn chicken
16) Its not as much fun as I thought it would be, taking the bit and running with it. Something about being ALLOWED to be hateful just takes all the fun out of being a bitch.
17) Lust is fickle
18) Hell hath no fury like a flipflop discarded before all the snap is out of its sole.
19) I’m really having to work on this whole retribution and payback thing. I guess Roddy’s advice to get over IT and move the f*ck on really hit home. Or else I’m just at peace with IT….or I’ve found new avenues of interest…or I’ve decided everything is even. Nah, that can’t be it. Maybe I just got bored with the whole thing. Seems to happen to YOU a lot…LOL
20) I’m glad my world extends beyond the Okeechobee County line. Think how small and petty and dull my life would be if it were that limited
21) I have the munchies today
22) "The next time I go looking for my heart’s desire, I won’t look any further than my own backyard"….Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz (hint hint)
23) 67 days until I see my beautiful sister…yay!
24) Oh, and that reminds me….there is no comparison between my wonderful talented terrific sister and other people. I must have been on crack to think there were any similarities, total bad mind blowing crack
25) Who would name a Chihuahua "Killer Taco"?
26) What is the right decision?
27) Dee Dee is soooooooooooo mean, what a ho-ah!
28) What should I bring for lunch tomorrow? Salad (ick), maybe some beans and rice, or leftovers.
29) Ummmmmm, I just heard a bad word…
30) Got side tracked by an idea for a blog…another one! I am full of the written word at present. I’m just overflowing with witticisms lol
1) I don’t think Fodder realizes how hard I work at holding back
2) Confession is good for the soul, but it’s not too good for the nose
3) Cramps hurt…damn apple
4) All my jibes and innuendo are supposed to be non-specific, but how many two-timing, home-wrecking whores do I know?
5) When I’m bad, I’m very, very bad, but when I’m good, I’m BORING
6) Flip flops are funny things…
7) I wonder how many lives are ruined in the pursuit of mediocre ass?
8) Men choose their partners for many reasons—beautiful eyes, heart-shaped ass, sparkling personality. I wonder what its like to realize you were picked because you reek of crazy?
9) When you clear your conscience at someone else’s expense, does it really do you any good?
10) HATE my hair today
11) Eating oatmeal is so good for my tummy—all warm and non-wheat related
12) Playing nice is great for children who like playing games…but I’m grown, so what are the benefits to me?
13) To everything (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time for every purpose under Heaven J
14) I swear, the weather starts getting a little cool and all the fellas try to grow a beard and beards are like being bald…not everyone has the head for it.
15) I need to buy stock in Perdue, I eat so much damn chicken
16) Its not as much fun as I thought it would be, taking the bit and running with it. Something about being ALLOWED to be hateful just takes all the fun out of being a bitch.
17) Lust is fickle
18) Hell hath no fury like a flipflop discarded before all the snap is out of its sole.
19) I’m really having to work on this whole retribution and payback thing. I guess Roddy’s advice to get over IT and move the f*ck on really hit home. Or else I’m just at peace with IT….or I’ve found new avenues of interest…or I’ve decided everything is even. Nah, that can’t be it. Maybe I just got bored with the whole thing. Seems to happen to YOU a lot…LOL
20) I’m glad my world extends beyond the Okeechobee County line. Think how small and petty and dull my life would be if it were that limited
21) I have the munchies today
22) "The next time I go looking for my heart’s desire, I won’t look any further than my own backyard"….Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz (hint hint)
23) 67 days until I see my beautiful sister…yay!
24) Oh, and that reminds me….there is no comparison between my wonderful talented terrific sister and other people. I must have been on crack to think there were any similarities, total bad mind blowing crack
25) Who would name a Chihuahua "Killer Taco"?
26) What is the right decision?
27) Dee Dee is soooooooooooo mean, what a ho-ah!
28) What should I bring for lunch tomorrow? Salad (ick), maybe some beans and rice, or leftovers.
29) Ummmmmm, I just heard a bad word…
30) Got side tracked by an idea for a blog…another one! I am full of the written word at present. I’m just overflowing with witticisms lol
Friday, November 14, 2008
Completely Random Thoughts
Thoughts brought on by references to my hair:
1) I am feeling VERY Sharon today…poor everyone around me LOL
2) Writing letters that you never intend to send is good therapy
3) An old friend from junior high found me on MySpace…how cool is that?
4) My hair mocks me with its shortness
5) I need lunch today…lots of lunch…lots of meat…damn PMS
6) 41 days ‘til Christmas, ho, ho, fricking ho
7) Zebras, zebras everywhere and not a stripe in sight
8) Men shouldn’t wear baggy pants and go commando…its unattractive and much worse than camel toe
9) Leslie gives me this gibberish and expects me to quote it…
10) Just spent the MOST delightful 10 minutes talking to two older gentlemen who have traveled extensively. Apparently I still have a bit of Texas twang in my accent…who knew?
11) I found the BEST salt & vinegar chips to staunch my PMS cravings – Thunder Chips…yummy!
12) Got 3 more Twilight books to read this weekend. I should really take my time and savor them, but I probably won’t
13) This is just a theory, but if I were a stupid person, I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to prove it.
14) My desk organizer is not very organized…who da thunk?
15) Stapled my chip bag closed coz I was done…now I want another. The psyche is an odd thing, is it not?
16) My underwear keeps rolling down. Maybe I need to downsize?
17) Body odor should be a felony
18) Definitely intolerant of gluten
19) I need grownup clothes
20) I’m happy and I know it (clapped my hands), I’m happy and I know it (clapped my hands)…oops, phones ringing
21) 1st 5 songs on my computer (1) Waited for You (2) The Sweetest Thing I’ve Ever Known (3) Making Love Out of Nothing At All (4) Waiting for a Star to Fall (5) Everything I Do (I Do It For You) (are we sensing a theme?)
22) Last 5 songs on my computer (1) Secret Lovers (2) Stranger in My Place (3) I Want to Feel That Way Again (4) Tonight I Want to Cry (5) You Save Me (and yet another theme, lol not really I just like sad songs)
23) Perhaps my musical choices are the reason I’m so friggin’ depressed…hmmm, question to ponder.
24) Those Q-tips are still calling my name, or my ears, or whatever
25) Thinking of the snowman orgy…egads, I have SO many!
26) Apparently, according to my horoscope, I am excited about the prospect of enjoying myself today
27) Watching men come out of the restroom can be hysterical (okay….I can see the restrooms from my desk, I’m not a peeping Tammy)—they adjust, kick their legs, don’t wash their hands (ick!) scratch, it’s just a visual treat, glad I’m me
28) Daydreaming about country roads
29) My pits smell all powdery fresh
30) J Little fat Pilgrim people
31) Would it be freaky to just tweeze my leg hairs?
32) My desk is a sty; the Pilgrim people probably oink when I leave them unattended.
33) My hair is so soft and silky…too bad it looks like shit
34) Hope its not too late a night, I got stuff to do…like sleep and read and stuff
35) If you hear hoof beats, look for horses, not zebras (good rule of thumb)
36) Pictures of babies at the beach make me smile
37) What’s a 5 letter word for flinch?
38) Say it with me…no. See that wasn’t hard now, was it? Isn’t it a lot harder to face the wrath of an angry, shrilling harpy than a slighty disappointed yet understanding female in full control of her faculties? Say it again…noooo.
39) Dee Dee went home; I am all alone. I think I’ll go touch her stuff.
40) Sugar just crashed. I need a nap
41) So tired of the doom and gloom and end of the world—I want to hear HAPPY stuff!
42) Baby Ruth’s are kinda yucky…
43) Going to work on my 1150 calorie diet this weekend. I should have it all outlined by Monday and it will be shot be Monday afternoon. My appetite is crazy! I need ephedra
44) Oh, God! Sugar rush!!!! I need a bucket…blech!
45) I wonder where my Ipod is; gone, I’m guessing.
46) I get to watch the shuttle launch tonite….yay!
47) I am so nauseous I may barf in the trash can…freakin’ ghost gall bladder!
48) Apparently I look tired...is that the same as someone telling me I look like shit? Wake up at 4:30 a.m. every day and tell me how lively you'll look?
49) I have not the patience for this, so Lord give me strength to not go all white trash Betty on folks.
50) I feel the need for provocation....is that wrong?
51) No matter how many times I slide my phone, it won't turn into my mouse LOL
1) I am feeling VERY Sharon today…poor everyone around me LOL
2) Writing letters that you never intend to send is good therapy
3) An old friend from junior high found me on MySpace…how cool is that?
4) My hair mocks me with its shortness
5) I need lunch today…lots of lunch…lots of meat…damn PMS
6) 41 days ‘til Christmas, ho, ho, fricking ho
7) Zebras, zebras everywhere and not a stripe in sight
8) Men shouldn’t wear baggy pants and go commando…its unattractive and much worse than camel toe
9) Leslie gives me this gibberish and expects me to quote it…
10) Just spent the MOST delightful 10 minutes talking to two older gentlemen who have traveled extensively. Apparently I still have a bit of Texas twang in my accent…who knew?
11) I found the BEST salt & vinegar chips to staunch my PMS cravings – Thunder Chips…yummy!
12) Got 3 more Twilight books to read this weekend. I should really take my time and savor them, but I probably won’t
13) This is just a theory, but if I were a stupid person, I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to prove it.
14) My desk organizer is not very organized…who da thunk?
15) Stapled my chip bag closed coz I was done…now I want another. The psyche is an odd thing, is it not?
16) My underwear keeps rolling down. Maybe I need to downsize?
17) Body odor should be a felony
18) Definitely intolerant of gluten
19) I need grownup clothes
20) I’m happy and I know it (clapped my hands), I’m happy and I know it (clapped my hands)…oops, phones ringing
21) 1st 5 songs on my computer (1) Waited for You (2) The Sweetest Thing I’ve Ever Known (3) Making Love Out of Nothing At All (4) Waiting for a Star to Fall (5) Everything I Do (I Do It For You) (are we sensing a theme?)
22) Last 5 songs on my computer (1) Secret Lovers (2) Stranger in My Place (3) I Want to Feel That Way Again (4) Tonight I Want to Cry (5) You Save Me (and yet another theme, lol not really I just like sad songs)
23) Perhaps my musical choices are the reason I’m so friggin’ depressed…hmmm, question to ponder.
24) Those Q-tips are still calling my name, or my ears, or whatever
25) Thinking of the snowman orgy…egads, I have SO many!
26) Apparently, according to my horoscope, I am excited about the prospect of enjoying myself today
27) Watching men come out of the restroom can be hysterical (okay….I can see the restrooms from my desk, I’m not a peeping Tammy)—they adjust, kick their legs, don’t wash their hands (ick!) scratch, it’s just a visual treat, glad I’m me
28) Daydreaming about country roads
29) My pits smell all powdery fresh
30) J Little fat Pilgrim people
31) Would it be freaky to just tweeze my leg hairs?
32) My desk is a sty; the Pilgrim people probably oink when I leave them unattended.
33) My hair is so soft and silky…too bad it looks like shit
34) Hope its not too late a night, I got stuff to do…like sleep and read and stuff
35) If you hear hoof beats, look for horses, not zebras (good rule of thumb)
36) Pictures of babies at the beach make me smile
37) What’s a 5 letter word for flinch?
38) Say it with me…no. See that wasn’t hard now, was it? Isn’t it a lot harder to face the wrath of an angry, shrilling harpy than a slighty disappointed yet understanding female in full control of her faculties? Say it again…noooo.
39) Dee Dee went home; I am all alone. I think I’ll go touch her stuff.
40) Sugar just crashed. I need a nap
41) So tired of the doom and gloom and end of the world—I want to hear HAPPY stuff!
42) Baby Ruth’s are kinda yucky…
43) Going to work on my 1150 calorie diet this weekend. I should have it all outlined by Monday and it will be shot be Monday afternoon. My appetite is crazy! I need ephedra
44) Oh, God! Sugar rush!!!! I need a bucket…blech!
45) I wonder where my Ipod is; gone, I’m guessing.
46) I get to watch the shuttle launch tonite….yay!
47) I am so nauseous I may barf in the trash can…freakin’ ghost gall bladder!
48) Apparently I look tired...is that the same as someone telling me I look like shit? Wake up at 4:30 a.m. every day and tell me how lively you'll look?
49) I have not the patience for this, so Lord give me strength to not go all white trash Betty on folks.
50) I feel the need for provocation....is that wrong?
51) No matter how many times I slide my phone, it won't turn into my mouse LOL
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